Today, I brought a girl back to my place. She commented on how neat and clean everything was for a bachelor. I absentmindedly said, “Yeah, my mom comes over and cleans three times a week.” She made a face like I'd just told her I eat puppies or something, then made an excuse to leave. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML
Today, I decided to clean the whole house as a surprise for my mother. When she came home, she screamed at me and called me a bitch because she had wanted to clean it herself. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
Today, my mom told me how happy she is that I'm living with her. No wait, that was a month ago. Now she tells me it’s “bad timing” that I'm living with her while she potentially has a new boyfriend, because things like me demanding that people tidy up after themselves might upset him. FML
Today, I cleaned our whole house. I wasn’t expecting praise, it was just the house needed cleaning so I did it. I also wasn’t expecting my girlfriend to get mad at me for “cleaning everything as a form of passive aggressively criticising her for her not having cleaned the house either.” What? FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
The fact that you have your mommy coming over to clean up after you tells people a lot more about you than you think.
angus 17
Three times a week!!! And you’re surprised she left? Dude you need to grow up fast. You’re an adult and should not be dependent upon your mother in any way.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
DLBL 23
I would not have made an excuse. I would have said, 'You disgraceful bastard...having your mother clean for you when you're an adult. YOU should be helping HER!"
SAgirl 23
I wouldn't go as fare as "Disgraceful bastard." Maybe more like disappointing.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
The fact that you have your mommy coming over to clean up after you tells people a lot more about you than you think.
mike3775 39
Let me guess, mom also still does your laundry for you as well. Grow up already. YDI
angus 17
Three times a week!!! And you’re surprised she left? Dude you need to grow up fast. You’re an adult and should not be dependent upon your mother in any way.
DLBL 23
Right! In fact, he should be available to help his mother!
Grincha 14
have a question. you are like actually actually surprised why she left? 🤔
Hangryko 32
Grow up and clean your own place, manchild. Does she still wipe your 🍑 for you, too?
SAgirl 23
Well I need more context for this one. Do you pay your mom? Is she one of those overbearing moms that insist? Do you work insane hours and need the help?
GoogieWithers 25
She realised that if you ended up in bed together, your Mum would see the aftermath as she was cleaning.
sirrubberduckie 37
Of course she left. She was looking into a future where she has to cut the crusts off the sandwiches she makes you, schedules all your appointments for you, and picks up after you constantly. She wants a capable and independent adult, not a little boy who needs mommy to take care of everything for him.