Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.
samadams42 0
They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.
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Comments (292)
johnnie254 7
probably got butt raped in the process
twirlgirl198 4
that's is the funniest thing I have ever heard!!!! sorry dude ur life sucks
dansco 25
YDI idiot! Bet she is really impressed now! Next time try a glass bottle, much easier to break ;)
ausathlete 0
You always know it's going to be a facepalm when an FML starts with "Today I tried to impress..."
popeofdope_fml 0
dont listen to any of these dirt bitches. girls like guys who r dicks. being sweet makes u her bitch
jordylanell 0
and how old are u? 12?
crazytoaster 2
What the hell. I can crush cans on my head no problem AND i have an IQ of 137. My record is 7 cans in 1 minute 30 seconds. Just don't EVER under any circumstances use this trick to impress a girl. It doesn't work. Do it because it's ******* awesome.
sublime420 11
I wake up every thursday with a bloody forehead because of this..:/
bootje 5
seems like a paradox to me, being smart and crushing stuff with your forehead
SkoalThugz 0
ha
Punkpoptart1119 20
What happened to impressing people by being yourself? And everyone knows you crush soda cans with your foot..YDI for not thinking your wonderful plan through.
sublime420 11
With your foot? Pussy.
scenequeen101 0
haha yes all of us girls want a guy who can crush a can on his head, o and have a drawing of a PENIS on third forehead no less... lol thank u for the laugh!!!!!