Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.
samadams42 0
They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.
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Comments (292)
ReeceandRingo 0
... Wow
Driveshaft 5
the trick is to squeeze the can as it hits your forehead...unfortunately you'll still look like a tool. but without a penis on your face!!! WINNING!
Kalob10 0
Dumbass... Was the can atleast full? cuz if you managed to knock yourself out with an empty can, you need mental help or something.
lv426master 0
Ugh. She's a keeper.
unkhammun 5
OP you are a complete idiot for thinking you were Robocop and trying to crush cans with your helmet. next time try straightening a banana with your asshole, dumbass.
persianjr1 7
people listen up. you guys need to understand that he was trying to impress someone!! I bet 99% of us have done something dumb to impress the other gender. on the other hand, I think crushing a can on you head is a LITTLE to impulsive. so ydi and fyl.
that_fella 0
What a tool. Fail for doing what he did. DOUBLE FAIL for posting to FML.
deidre823 7
Why the hell would you think that would impress a girl??? YDI for being an idiot.
HateyMcHater 4
Is this your mugshot?
batgirl_babygirl 0
yeeeeeeah cus girls TOTALY go for that kinda shit....jeez dude really? ydi
JacindasaurXD 0
lmaoo friken people and they're way of thinking!