Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
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Top comments
kieferr 8
Maybe you should shower...
Ijas 2
You got that mud butt?
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Comments (242)
mea_iloveskiing 26
I say what what..
THExistentialist 13
in the butte? got flies, flies, on the butt!
marrisarashelle7 0
Lmao just this one comment made my day.
ImStillWinning 5
Hi :P
alexfelker 0
dirty bitch.
samanthajonesdru 1
Why does everyone think her ass smells. Flies are attracted to sweet smelling things. Maybe she spritzed perfume between her legs...I do that.
panda_bear0618 1
flies are also attracted to shit.
5t3ff1k4h 47
You're thinking of bees.
MissHayleyJames 7
Trust me. Flies like stinky smells more than sweet smells. Go spend an hour at a feed lot and you'll understand.
SaturnV 25
Why would anyone spritz perfume between their legs? Trying to cover up a nasty smell? Seems like some of the advice to OP regarding personal hygiene down there might apply to you as well...
afdude87 6
^ oh yay, flies are turned on by my odor? you're nasty.
jerjy1 5
since you're all commenting about it, I guess he won't have a cookie? can I have it?
TheSmoothDude 10
Shut up.
KatieKupcake4195 9
Yuck. I just got back from my mommy's grave and when I was sitting there by her grave all these flies got all up in my face and wouldn't go away -_-
divadame80 0
Damn. Maybe YOU stink too!
KatieKupcake4195 9
No. They were ALL over the place there. Even before I got out of the car (haha!) :) I don't think it was me. I shower daily, put on deodorant daily, brush my teeth twice daily, and put on fresh clean clothes daily. Perhaps the silly little flies we're just attracted to my nose ring. :)
Groucho_fml 5
WTF??
TheSmoothDude 10
61/144 - You give way too much information.
PYLrulz 17
Ok... I just got dumber reading that -_-
HighGTurn 12
That's why I shower every day
AzWolf 5
Are you male or female?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Are you blind?
HighGTurn 12
Look at the top right corner
Heinousness 0
I don't like those bikinis because they reveal too much for public eye. Way to make me more grossed out about them.