Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
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Top comments
kieferr 8
Maybe you should shower...
Ijas 2
You got that mud butt?
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Comments (242)
docscientist 10
It's like the entire FML population went retarded. Who says she wasn't 'sanitary'. The flies were more likely trying to drink that glistening sweat on her ass.
br0ccoli 15
^. Don't be an asshole. She's a Noor.
keeks46 12
They obviously thought your ass was sexy
porcupineattack1 5
Your grammar is a fail, bitch.
PandaBuddy13 0
The funniest part of this FML were the comments xP I'm ******* laughing my ass off >:D
jshicksSN 0
Wear more than a piece of string over your butthole. Then maybe they won't swarm?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Thong swimsuits are the most worthless and pathetic invention ever. Thongs are not underwear and they sure as hell aren't swimsuits. Why wear either in the first place if you're just going to have to fight butt floss all day? YDI
gabbybmo 5
why did so many people thumb down this? I think she was just joking about the compliment thing though
cuzurcatsmells 5
That's what you get for being a ***** sorry :/
NoisyNykkii 10
9-Boo you *****.