Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
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Top comments
kieferr 8
Maybe you should shower...
Ijas 2
You got that mud butt?
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Comments (242)
Luckyman22 5
I would have to say this is an fml for the people that had to see and smell it.
cassbird09 12
I think you may need to do some more potty training. It's okay. You will get there eventually. In the meantime however don't parade around in a bikini. You really shouldn't breed right now. Good girl.
SpruceDread4578 13
176- Out of curiosity...what is your ethnicity? I really hope I don't look like an ass at the moment.
j_cat187 20
That's a strange thing for a nun to say. *looks at profile* Seems legit.
Flyleaf92 0
That means ur booty dirty in the ur crack spot....or u farted
myah1109 11
Toilet paper is your friend!!!!!
slyace 9
Ewwwwwwww XP
wednesdays_child 0
Flies are attracted to food too! Does that mean there's shit in food? I don't think so!
Calyx_fml 22
Those weren't flies. They were my flying micro-robotic spy cameras. I posted the video online.
CradleLeena 0
Um... U showered first right? O.o