Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML
Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML
Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML
Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML
Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML
Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML
Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML
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Top comments
Accuraxy 10
YDI for complaining about losing the money when it was your choice to keep it or give it away.
Just_STFU_Please 13
* let me see of my balls are still intact........... Nope, guess that guy took those too*
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Comments (139)
redmnky21 8
and that's why he has a better job than u
cheertrombonist 9
stealing from strangers isn't a job.
LO388 7
It is if you're in the US banking industry.
SnoochBoochie 14
Where is this line for free money?
Atrocyty 16
Seems he took your balls as well.
cobalttanker 14
Your a ******* wimp!!!
gunnerblaster 21
You'll get no sympathy from me for being a spineless cur. FYL for being the way you are.
buckdharma 38
I could see if you lived in the hood, but for the love of Michael J. Fox, you live in Canada, op.
Diesel_baby 18
Man up and stand up for your cash!
pichu172b 7
Beta as all hell
shadow7x 10
your a moron
lazy_girl 12
you're* as in "you are a moron" sorry, I just couldn't resist the irony lol
Satoaoi 13
what number 2 and 3 said. also next time keep your shit it's yours for crying out loud. if he tried to hit u kick him in the balls and run