By Anonymous - 06/04/2012 16:58 - United States - Deerfield Beach

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML
I agree, your life sucks 7 442
You deserved it 26 230

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Haha sounds like you were russian to hide those bottles.

charmanderCHAR 5

In Soviet Russia, shit loses YOU!


Without the chicks

Perhaps the two bottles were the "chicks".

At least it was Russian vodka and not McCormick's, gotta count your blessings OP

Haha sounds like you were russian to hide those bottles.

KawiRacer69 5

i see what you did ther

gazzdogs 5

did you really?

lavitaebella_fml 0

A: "I don't understand this handwriting." B: "That's because he's Russian." A: "I don't care how fast he was writing!"

5 what did he d... OHH HAHA that's funny! *sarcasm*

flockz 19

they say an average of 3 bottles of vodka are consumed while you sleep during your life.

Well flockz what about scotch because when I get severly hungover and fall asleep in a puddle of my own vomit I like to be a little classy and have a nice scotch on the rocks. You know what I mean with the little umbrella in it

Because that my friend is the gentlemans way to get sloppy black out drunk than take pictures of your junk and send them to your girlfriends sister and... wait never mind.

They say is also the biggest liar in the land. How the hell would I magically get out of bed and drink vodka in my sleep?

Nothing magical about it #67, people sleep-walk, they sleep-talk, they even sleep-comment on FML, so why not sleep-drink?

Vodka has a smell?

No it has magnetic force..

Yea I wouldn't have asked if I was kidding

Number four you ******' pussy shit, swig some vodka from the bottle and you will become a hundreth of the man I am.

To my current knowledge, without flavoring added, vodka has the least distinguishable scent in comparison to most, if not all, spirits. With that being said, it's still alcohol, so it's still going to reek like booze. That Effen vodka will getcha into trouble every time ;)

21- straight vodka smells sterile; like the stuff they use to clean wounds before fixing them up.

What?! Since when did they start moderating constructive criticism?!

KeannaLove 32

Sounds like you had a very interesting night lol.

Straight vodka is my favorite! Gotta love the taste of something so sterile.

bigAC 6

what the **** is this, where you can post your embarrassing everyday stories and have people laugh at you and tear you to shreds in the comments section. Beware though, anything on the topic of marijuana, religion, feminism or cross-dressing will start an instant war between either sides. This will consist of horrid name-calling and all the reasons why drugs are good for you. Happy FMLing!

I swear to The Mighty FML Deity, if anyone tries a stupid "In Soviet Russia" joke, I will lose my shit.

Fine, I'll just go back to my cave then...

charmanderCHAR 5

In Soviet Russia, shit loses YOU!

Really bro? He's like probably gonna kill you now.

^ yeah, like totally.

Oh noes! Your feelings. -__-

Welp, we had to know that was coming!

Doc Bastard, that was hilarious. And Charmander, that was hilarious!

Shit has now been lost.

If you had Wheaties with Stolichnaya, it would be the breakfast of champions. There's some wisdom from FPS Russia.

Hey I'm Russian

gazzdogs 5

Thank you so much for that valuable piece of information! Please tell me more!

samikitty961 8

Nope. You're American.

russianfixie 1

Ya ruskey Ee razgavarevayu pa ruskey

thenoobftw 3

Can you tell me where you live?

samikitty961 8

She lives in Florida.

samikitty961 8

And I'm guessing that she isn't from Russia either judging by the fact that she's 12 and she posted, just for the attention, "I'm Russian" even though she lives in Florida. She is probably just like most Americans who say "I'm russian" or "I'm Swedish" etc. because that's where their great-great-great grandparents were from. No. If you live in America or you're from America, then your nationality is American.

50- no. You're nationality could be American and say that you're Russian (etc.) as an ethnicity.

...orrr maybe she moved to Florida from Russia

apepe78 1

And...what's your point?

I am also Russian.

Urbanchiller 0

I am American, but I can see Russia from my back yard.