Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
chick92282 15
That poor cat! Sounds like it's time to hide the booze.
DogsPaw 16
Hide the kitty!
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Comments (86)
obviousboy 8
So you're saying he pissed you off?
MEAT_CURTAINS 5
some people are totally into people pissing on their pussy.....
Rowdey 10
Coming from meat curtains.
Jiinxx 8
train the cat to pee on him. see how he likes it.
dead_insects 18
that poor, poor animal :(
123man 11
Maybe the cat will scratch or bite him. That may be a good way for him to stop. In fact, you could take it upon yourself to scratch his penis. Then later, tell him that the cat did it while he peed on it.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
That would be unimaginably disgusting to "take upon yourself"..
loserman67 36
Next thing you know he'll be on the couch with the cat, naked and peanut butter will be everywhere!
dead_insects 18
scary!!
Michael_92 20
Time to set up some house rules, he isn't allowed in YOUR home being drunk. It's your house, don't be afraid to tell him like it is just cause he is family.
cnorris31 2
Your great grandfather is a wise man.
dead_insects 18
yes, because losing control of your bladder on an animal is a TRUE sign of intelligence....DERP!!
wubbazugg 5
Not sure if batshit crazy, or completely senile...
flutter4 7
That's funny but you should set some boundaries since it is your house.