Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
chick92282 15
That poor cat! Sounds like it's time to hide the booze.
DogsPaw 16
Hide the kitty!
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Comments (86)
olpally 33
This just reminds me of Alan from the hangover pissing in mike tyson's pool... hilarious, but like what the ****? Lol
crablegs 2
that sounds like a good time!
perdix 31
Back off! It's the last chance the old guy is going to have to aim his penis at pussy. He'll be dead soon enough, probably from a terminal case of Cat Scratch Fever.
noisebox 1
Funny and you're right
TheMysticSilas 0
good jokes!:D
KrayKrayGurl117 7
I bet the cat like attacked his penis...
moikristine 11
Hide yo booze, hide yo cats
SqueakyChipmunk 22
They peein' on ev'rbody out here.
gantoman 13
Cause they drinkin' n' pissing on erey cat out here!
iloveweed69 7
Poor kitty
noisebox 1
The old bastard is off his rocker....
JaysonYMCMB 1
how is he able to do dat ive nevr had a great grandparent cuz dey all died nd half of my grandparents dead nd da ones alive can barely move nd dis person is atleast 2 my age prob cuz im 15
everydayFML2121 5
Yea dood I no wut ur tlkin bout dis fml is cray dood n dis gramps is pissn on catz n stuf
SqueakyChipmunk 22
*bite* *scratch* *maul* This is an official notice that you have been attacked by a rabid chipmunk. For further information, see my profile. GET YOUR ASS BACK TO SUMMER SCHOOL AND LEARN ABOUT GRAMMAR AND SPELLING, FOOL.
TheJester12 15
your grandfather sounds like loads of fun. take him to him to a retirement home and watch the magic man turn it into a strip club.he will be out of your hands and will die a happy man.
jej1997 2
Well it *is* hysterical. What's your problem, OP?