By Anonymous - United States - Nottingham Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML I agree, your life sucks 11052 You deserved it 781 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sassers - United States Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML I agree, your life sucks 11800 You deserved it 34912 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML I agree, your life sucks 32160 You deserved it 4326 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML I agree, your life sucks 27993 You deserved it 1883 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hatemylife - United States Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML I agree, your life sucks 46846 You deserved it 6898 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By liz - United States Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML I agree, your life sucks 13072 You deserved it 52216 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By what people do for money - United States - Houston Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML I agree, your life sucks 50691 You deserved it 4416 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SignificantShrinkage Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML I agree, your life sucks 2808 You deserved it 1795 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alucas3 - United States Today, I got a rental car because my car needed new tires and I had a long drive ahead of me. Today, the rental car got a flat tire. FML I agree, your life sucks 12292 You deserved it 1082 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tag - Australia Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML I agree, your life sucks 39082 You deserved it 3149 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By b. - Australia Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML I agree, your life sucks 32040 You deserved it 10833 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML I agree, your life sucks 51047 You deserved it 8976 267 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML I agree, your life sucks 16531 You deserved it 34186 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lou Czar - United States Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 16745 You deserved it 80995 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brandy_Dandy78 - United States Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML I agree, your life sucks 34316 You deserved it 5790 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Darice - 8/8/2020 05:03 Mom of the year Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 1362 You deserved it 159 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TrueScotsman - United States Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML I agree, your life sucks 11957 You deserved it 57205 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tickle spunk - United States Today, I came home and told my mom that I got the lead in the school musical, which I was very happy about. She pulled me into a hug then said, "But you know you can't really sing, right?" FML I agree, your life sucks 28824 You deserved it 3042 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DJ - Ireland - Dublin Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML I agree, your life sucks 33512 You deserved it 5855 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tgreject - United States Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML I agree, your life sucks 41386 You deserved it 3141 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Skullie - United States Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 30738 You deserved it 4937 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By roobb - Canada Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 56499 You deserved it 3108 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/3/2020 18:00 - United Kingdom Panic mode: activated Today, I got out of bed and saw muddy footprints next to it. They were at least three sizes bigger than mine. I live alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 2140 You deserved it 91 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United Kingdom - Lancaster Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 35861 You deserved it 3967 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unsuccessful popping - United States - Tappan Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML I agree, your life sucks 32189 You deserved it 2828 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mydaughterisdisturbed - United States - Huntingburg Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML I agree, your life sucks 54915 You deserved it 5815 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EvilMother - United States - Hinsdale Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML I agree, your life sucks 31936 You deserved it 5210 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - North Kingstown Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML I agree, your life sucks 60296 You deserved it 5042 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, is my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring it to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML I agree, your life sucks 32434 You deserved it 2903 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By captainocd - United States Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML I agree, your life sucks 11617 You deserved it 84704 322 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Meghan Elise Today, I found that there were charges of almost 2,000 dollars on my bank account. Some asshole in Florida stole my money. I have bills and that was money I saved to buy myself a new car. FML I agree, your life sucks 2286 You deserved it 146 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By musik_ist_liebe - United States Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML I agree, your life sucks 18936 You deserved it 63689 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML I agree, your life sucks 33743 You deserved it 2721 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GLHan - United States - Commack Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML I agree, your life sucks 61237 You deserved it 3823 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WrongPlaceWrongTime - France Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 15212 You deserved it 803 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By traumatizedforlife - United States Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 48272 You deserved it 6769 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dana Today, I told my son if he wanted the new internet password he had to clean his room. I then caught him disconnecting my laptop from the internet. Turns out he changed the password months ago and now if I want the new password he wants £50. I ended up paying. I'm actually proud of the sneaky sod. FML I agree, your life sucks 1555 You deserved it 3308 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Achoo - United States Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 38810 You deserved it 5103 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mybad - United States Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML I agree, your life sucks 48098 You deserved it 13211 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Joe - Cambodia Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML I agree, your life sucks 24928 You deserved it 2914 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sadandphoneless Today, I got on the bus and the driver said I didn't have to pay since the ticket machine was broken. I was happy to have saved £2.40 until i realised someone had stolen my new £700 phone while I was talking to the driver. FML I agree, your life sucks 2300 You deserved it 283 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Therid | 22 #6698459 - Monday 3 October 2016 7:01 What, how and why? Send a private message 94 2 Reply
By Tripartita | 44 #6698469 - Monday 3 October 2016 7:18 Wow, extra jellyfish sting protection* that you didn't even ask for? She must REALLY love you, OP! :o) *Psst, I just wanted to make the OP feel better, but there's no actual benefit to peeing on jellyfish stings. Send a private message 55 2 Reply
By Therid | 22 #6698459 - Monday 3 October 2016 7:01 What, how and why? Send a private message 94 2 Reply
By airdude25 | 18 #6698460 - Monday 3 October 2016 7:02 What the hell? Send a private message 6 3 Reply
By roaf | 13 #6698461 - Monday 3 October 2016 7:03 I wonder what her excuse will be lmao Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By I_am_TheSixth | 15 #6698462 - Monday 3 October 2016 7:08 That old cat!! Sorry OP. Send a private message 7 7 Reply
By ragnarok1540 | 39 #6698468 - Monday 3 October 2016 7:14 Hope you brought your swimsuit, cause grandma and grandpa seem to be into watersports ... Send a private message 5 16 Reply
By Tripartita | 44 #6698469 - Monday 3 October 2016 7:18 Wow, extra jellyfish sting protection* that you didn't even ask for? She must REALLY love you, OP! :o) *Psst, I just wanted to make the OP feel better, but there's no actual benefit to peeing on jellyfish stings. Send a private message 55 2 Reply
Reply Richtofen115 | 16 #6699228 - Wednesday 5 October 2016 4:18 only for urchin stings Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By bubblemania | 16 #6698472 - Monday 3 October 2016 7:23 I am genuinely curious as to how this occurred....I mean grandpa I could understand more than grandma. So I'm wondering the logistics Send a private message 13 1 Reply
By gracehi | 31 #6698482 - Monday 3 October 2016 8:04 Wait... why would you think a cat would pee on you, and how did a human pee on you? Send a private message 16 0 Reply
By RichardPencil | 29 #6698485 - Monday 3 October 2016 8:15 She was training her cats to pee on you. Send a private message 2 1 Reply
By Bekll | 30 #6698491 - Monday 3 October 2016 8:53 If the cats have regularly cleaned litter boxes, they are taken care of, and they don't have any medical issues then they shouldn't urinate outside their boxes, let alone on people. Send a private message 14 0 Reply
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 277 You deserved it 15 3 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 824 You deserved it 287 5 Comments
*Psst, I just wanted to make the OP feel better, but there's no actual benefit to peeing on jellyfish stings.