Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
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Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
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Top comments
Doomwyte 11
Yes, this is how dogs work.
Waxwell 21
At least it didn't come out the other end
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Comments (78)
me1224 12
You're singing to the choir
plaguer 26
My dog is the same way! All my friends have dogs who lay in bed. Mine is working on enforcing potty training, so I'm often up at 3am with him acting like he hasn't seen me in years.
fxuxcxkxyxoxu 1
Bahahaha! My babies do the same thing!
KaylaTackett 18
story of my life
Lalala579121 28
I hope you said "bless you".
feytensn 25
My dog sneezed in my mouth once
OscarEcho 12
Both my (rather large) dogs are coming down on a hefty flu these days, so sneezing, coffing and general dog snot spreading is plentiful... Oh, the joy of dogs :) .
Enzymatically 14
bless you lol
Witchylady 18
He's telling you that he loves you
HollyQuinn 21
Well, it could have been worse!