Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Release the selfie!
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML
No napping, only feeding
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
Good boy
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Top comments
Doomwyte 11
Yes, this is how dogs work.
Waxwell 21
At least it didn't come out the other end
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Comments (78)
engineerosaurus 26
Dogs do this when they're excited. They have glands in their noses that "tickle", and so they sneeze. It's used as a communication tool, usually with other dogs, to communicate excitement, welcoming and play rather than aggression. It's not a germy thing like it is when humans sneeze -- not on the same level anyway. Your dog is sneezing because he's excited to see you and happy you're awake. While it can feel a little icky, it's adorable in its own weird way once you understand it. If you're really grossed out, a good face wash helps.
rescue34 7
That is adorable
rhagequit 7
How does this qualify as a FML? Live with a pug and you'll learn to take it as a sign of endearment.
shotgun_girl 17
My dog yawned in my face till I started breathing out all the air in me onto her face right after she did it. She would look at me like what the hell at first but eventually learned to turn her head.
worldclassrager 41
Did this surprise you? It's pretty common
sariberii 8
That's cute!
StrugsNotDrugs 19
Awww so cute! My dog likes to wake me up by jumping on my face. I'd rather a sneeze. Less painful.
MissPessimist 4
that's not that bad though at least the dog didn't fart in your face.
catherinecas 30
My dog once had puppies in my bed which was delightful.
quackImapenguin 16
How is this a problem? I wish I had a dog. I wouldn't complain about a little sneeze.