Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
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Top comments
Doomwyte 11
Yes, this is how dogs work.
Waxwell 21
At least it didn't come out the other end
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Comments (78)
TheLynx_fml 20
Awwww hehehe dogs are awesome
Avi8r 22
Not FML worthy, my dog does this every day.
nickname_nick 11
Gotta love dogs lol mans best friend
turtle_darkness 17
Lol my dog is a total grump when she wakes up. Must of got it from me haha.
PotatoesAndCake 26
THIS is why dogs are better than cats
littlekellilee 45
I woke up yesterday to my cat climbing on my chest for cuddles. Once she got directly in front of my face, she sneezed four times. So I'm pretty sure they've both awesome.
RageWolf16 31
A dog in a nutshell. And yet here I am trying to adopt one
SPN_lover666 27
That's how they say good morning to you
Dominus101 20
I take it your one of those people who kiss your doggy, and had that unfortunate moment
IdntNOthePASS 10
Give me your dog, how is this an FML?
Xion0014 20
At least you didnt wake up to his butt in your face and farting xD
Xion0014 20
Why would you keep your dog in a dog house? Unless it's an indoor doghouse. I wouldn't never make my dog an "outside" dog x:
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#52 You should just keep your dog inside with you :) crate her at night if you must but keeping a dog outside isn't very responsible.