Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
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Top comments
Doomwyte 11
Yes, this is how dogs work.
Waxwell 21
At least it didn't come out the other end
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Comments (78)
1DreamCatcher1 20
That's not that bad? At least he didn't vomit or something, be happy you dog loves you
manlytarts 28
Oh the joys of pet ownership.
themeparkjunky 6
I don't see why this is an FML this is everyday of a dog owners life.
dragkyre 4
Mine does this all the time. Get used to it. She even yawns at me when I try to talk to her. Rude dog is rude
HitmanKillsYou 13
gross lol ive had dogs all my life and thats never happened
olliebush123 15
I love it when dogs are so affectionate
rvontr88 21
Yeah and? That's a daily occurrence in my house....
Calingaladha 21
My dog likes to belch in my face. They're weird animals...
prized_loser 17
Sick of your face? lol
fordneagles 34
Of all the things your dog could have done in your face, this definitely isn't the worst.