D:
Paris, France
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
123roomielover
United States
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Anonymous
Creepy roommates #56
Today, I awoke to a strange feeling on my feet. It felt like a tongue, so at first thought it was the dog, but we don't have one. I looked down and it was my roommate. FML
mac
Bankstown, Australia
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Roommate
Olympia, United States
Today, my new roommate sent me a picture of our toothbrushes bristles touching with the caption "Look! I made them kiss!" FML
Anonymous
United States
Leftovers
Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML
Anonymous
Argentina
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
burritobreasts
Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML
floggingnasty
United States
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
gold3nshow3r
Roanoke, United States
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Top comments
ewmoldycheese 14
The real question is which cheek?
MsConfusedd 27
I bet you've always wanted a dog!
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Comments (114)
FrankHotpants 31
Next time you're both sitting around together just casually ask, "sooo uhmm...WTF?!"
gracehi 31
*Zap Branigan's voice* He just wanted a taste of sweet, sweet, candy.
greeneyebeauty9 28
I think it's that time of the year to find a new roommate.
chocolatefrog28 29
Check the kitchen, if the pantry is stocked with some fava beans and a nice chianti, get your ass out of there pronto.
CharlieM78 9
If you didn't punch them in the face then YDI
iAlissa 34
Shut up.
perdix 29
You should take a stronger sleeping pill. You probably want to stay thoroughly unconscious while all of the licking and probing activities are going on.
iisisaac 9
next time you go to sleep, put something gross on your cheek so that if it ever happens again you'll have a surprise in store!
papayeya 18
Ewwww i would smack his balls
Robbieisadowg 16
How do you know it was a boy?
cakefete2 30
Never seen one, but i imagine this might be the start of a rather kinky gay porno.
EphMi 5
that's sexy...assuming one of you is a girl, even better if both are girls!
LolAtMyPosts 10
I'm not even going to begin bitching about how wrong that statement is.
lollypop30001 19
Ok time to move out.