Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
You're next.
aubama_fml 15
here's your breakfast master.
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Comments (106)
fancypants725 4
That's actually a complement in cat world :)
Addgutts 8
That's actually really Nice if him.
stonehare 7
recent studies have shown that cats believe that they have tofeed you because you never hunt. like you are a giant hairless cat the sucks at being a cat.
marramrammar 2
That means your cat really loves you!
tigerlilytracey 6
thats kitty speak for..get in that thar kitchen. u got some cookin to do!
interesting33 36
I don't really understand cats trying to feed their owner? Do they not see them eating?
josiem 11
Aww! S/he loves you and is trying to teach you how to hunt, and thus eat, for yourself. You should feel honoured that s/he took the time. :P
sonicsistar 7
My last cat once brought in a mouse or rat. When I returned home, I found a heart and the upper mandible with nose and whiskers attached, lying on my carpet, without a trace of blood, etc.
ITxCExLxS 6
Your cat was giving you a present! It's common for cats to bring their owners their catches as a sign of friendship. Just be glad it wasn't a chipmunk's decapitated head. Been there, done that
cassy_k 3
When you cat brings you dead animals or 'treasure' (treasure for them) its a sign of love, there fore your cat loves you :) but, it sucks that you woke up that way. But you DID deserve it, for treating your cat good! Why would it bring you 'food' if It didn't love you?