Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
You're next.
aubama_fml 15
here's your breakfast master.
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Comments (106)
ulissey_fml 22
I have two cats who love me. i've seen the inner bits and chewed guts of LOTS of animals of all sizes. Strangely enough, my cats are not into cleaning . Maybe they are trying to teach me how to live with a man .
FizzyFun 8
I find that both sweet and gross at the same time!
dragon8277 9
That's a sign that he loves you
branrox90 11
cats are evil...=l
sqweet92 3
I can't say your life sucks cuz you probably deserve the present he/she brought you
Aimee1331 9
Oh my ...
worldclassrager 39
How nice...she brought you a gift...I guess she wanted to share with you..,,
FairyTaleZombies 6
One reason I'm glad my cat died from old age. Along with giving peace offerings of dead mice and chipmunks, I don't have the cat sleeping in my panties and storing his prizes in there as well. -.-
jesse98 7
Best eat it up soon, mice are rich with vitamin c
SocialTurtle 3
Good morning!