Animals: Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my...

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 887

You deserved it 4 039

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 2 742

By CatLady - 24/08/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 539

You deserved it 4 152

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 17:04 - United States - Louisville

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 635

You deserved it 3 722

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 28 622

Panic in the sheets

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 245

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 186

Is gift

By catlady - 25/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 732

You deserved it 2 437

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 17 414

Thanks Raymond

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 05:13 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 854

You deserved it 1 692

XDsmileyDX_fml 24

Sunday 6 October 2013 9:03

You're next.

aubama_fml 15

Sunday 6 October 2013 9:03

here's your breakfast master.

Comments

ulissey_fml 22

Sunday 6 October 2013 22:57

I have two cats who love me. i've seen the inner bits and chewed guts of LOTS of animals of all sizes. Strangely enough, my cats are not into cleaning . Maybe they are trying to teach me how to live with a man .

FizzyFun 8

Sunday 6 October 2013 23:38

I find that both sweet and gross at the same time!

dragon8277 9

Sunday 6 October 2013 23:46

That's a sign that he loves you

branrox90 11

Monday 7 October 2013 1:11

cats are evil...=l

sqweet92 3

Monday 7 October 2013 3:44

I can't say your life sucks cuz you probably deserve the present he/she brought you

Aimee1331 9

Monday 7 October 2013 3:51

Oh my ...

worldclassrager 39

Monday 7 October 2013 3:52

How nice...she brought you a gift...I guess she wanted to share with you..,,

FairyTaleZombies 6

Monday 7 October 2013 5:23

One reason I'm glad my cat died from old age. Along with giving peace offerings of dead mice and chipmunks, I don't have the cat sleeping in my panties and storing his prizes in there as well. -.-