Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
You're next.
aubama_fml 15
here's your breakfast master.
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Comments (106)
somethingblue 6
It was proud and wanted to show you
TheCerealKiller 24
I hope you're hungry. Your cat shared it's hard earned meal and if you insult it by turning it down said cat will probably kill you in your sleep.
jw90 18
He's just giving you a peace offering OP. For when he takes over the world you will have the sole joy of being his slave. Don't worry. He'll treat you well enough for caring or him all those years.
Omniprism 14
She brought you a present. She loves you.
Jst4kicks 16
wakey wakey master I made u breakfast!
Chumbowamba 10
A gift for you. :3
dtownwestside123 3
are you sure that was the cats paw draging across your face
brinnablaine 22
I once woke to my cat patting me on the arm to get my attention. As soon as he realized I was awake, he dropped a freshly killed mouse on my bare stomach. Yuck.
lostnconfusion 6
that's actually a really sweet gesture. she brought you a present. it may seem gross but she was just showing you some love. :)
th3hardrocker 12
And now I'll never own a cat for as long as I live.