Animals: Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my...

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 887

You deserved it 4 039

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 2 742

By CatLady - 24/08/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 539

You deserved it 4 152

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 17:04 - United States - Louisville

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 635

You deserved it 3 722

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 28 622

Panic in the sheets

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 245

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 186

Is gift

By catlady - 25/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 732

You deserved it 2 437

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 17 414

Thanks Raymond

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 05:13 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 854

You deserved it 1 692

XDsmileyDX_fml 24

Sunday 6 October 2013 9:03

You're next.

aubama_fml 15

Sunday 6 October 2013 9:03

here's your breakfast master.

Comments

somethingblue 6

Sunday 6 October 2013 17:38

It was proud and wanted to show you

TheCerealKiller 24

Sunday 6 October 2013 17:40

I hope you're hungry. Your cat shared it's hard earned meal and if you insult it by turning it down said cat will probably kill you in your sleep.

jw90 18

Sunday 6 October 2013 17:41

He's just giving you a peace offering OP. For when he takes over the world you will have the sole joy of being his slave. Don't worry. He'll treat you well enough for caring or him all those years.

Omniprism 14

Sunday 6 October 2013 18:13

She brought you a present. She loves you.

Jst4kicks 16

Sunday 6 October 2013 18:23

wakey wakey master I made u breakfast!

Chumbowamba 10

Sunday 6 October 2013 19:33

A gift for you. :3

dtownwestside123 3

Sunday 6 October 2013 19:35

are you sure that was the cats paw draging across your face

brinnablaine 22

Sunday 6 October 2013 20:05

I once woke to my cat patting me on the arm to get my attention. As soon as he realized I was awake, he dropped a freshly killed mouse on my bare stomach. Yuck.