Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
astralvagan 20
That's so immature. Doesn't he know that you have to fart directly on the eye, not the pillow?
unknown_user5566 27
Tell him you were disappointed too, when you found out that his size 14 shoes didn't actually mean he has a big package. Oh, myths are fun.
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Comments (135)
nancyschmancy 9
This FML is disturbing on so many levels. I don't know what is worse. That he wants to infect your eyes, or that he disrespects you enough to contaminate your pillow with poop juice! Good god! He is so not worth it!
afairshake 8
Someone has watched Knocked Up a few to many times and is obviously immature
The_F3rris 11
Why do something like this to your spouse? If she did get pink eye I predict the couch transforming into a bed.
Chel2010 10
The funny part of this FML is that my boyfriend and I actually talked about how people get pinkeye the other day lol.... boys will be boys. Even when they're 60 they'll be kids at heart
sillyyanks 24
Except when they're 60 you'll definitely get pink eye due to their weakened bowel control.
Nomadic1 20
You might want to reevaluate your taste in boys, or better yet actually start dating men
simoncat 11
Physically he is 23, mentally/emotionally he is 6. Run. Fast. He tried to make you sick- farting ? Ridiculous. But he tried to give you a virus (?). What's next? Herpes. Dump him. He's heartless and possibly dangerous.
simoncat 11
Give him a black eye.
pancakes_O_O 3
What.
kalbrek009 20
Time to dump stinky & move on with your life
noisebox 1
I can tell that guy really loves you!
nancyschmancy 9
Wow, so freaky that you have made 666 comments. You can't stop now!