Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML
Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML
Today, as I was laying down to sleep, I grabbed my covers and realized the cat pissed on them and on my body pillow. Now I'm up at 1 a.m. doing laundry so I can have clean bedding and my kids are awake. FML
Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML
Today, I eagerly jumped into a pile of leaves, only to discover via the stench that the neighborhood cats have obviously been using it as their makeshift litter box. FML
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
It's more of a realistic game of the floor is lava. Join in, it's the best childhood game ever.
Blacksxe 1
Please tell me your son is like 3 years old so this makes sense. I would be very afraid if he was like 18 or 20.
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Comments (74)
Scands_59 14
awh that's thoughtful of the boy...time to clean...
Kibaruto 33
I bet the cat must feel like it owns the whole house, adding a new meaning to litter. That's right, he littered the house with litter.
thewickedwitch 6
why do kids have to do such disgusting things? lol, if you're like me, you'll wait till he's a teen, then tell the story to his girlfriends..
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Try to see how far you can get before you step on poop... and if you make it to the broom, try to see how many turds you can sweep. Make it a game.
JuuChan 3
Aren't children just darling?
McNerdyNerd 8
Lol...that's about the time you hand him a broom and a litter box cleaner and say 'have fun!'
loserman67 36
Could have been worse, you could have felt something "squishy" under your feet.
twisted_cherub 14
Ah, loserman. How did you know the word "squishy" was enough to make my skin crawl? Squishy is harder to clean. Squishy gets sticky and smelly. The only crunchy worse than squishy is the sound coming from a bug when it's stepped on--and then squishy comes out of it. Blegh!
kzxvazure 0
cat:THIS IS MY TOWN NOW
ClosetTroll 10
This was an elaborate ploy by your cat to take over your house. Next thing you know your cat will be rolling around in all that litter and finishing off the places your son missed.
mixzies 6
Tell your son you thought it would be funny to whip his ass.