Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML
anggface
Miss Saint George!, usa 35 years-old Single
Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
Nice!
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML