Love: Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which...

By justlittleoldme - 12/03/2010 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 859

You deserved it 7 289

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 724

You deserved it 839

By Anonymous - 03/06/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 460

You deserved it 7 052

By raebelle - 02/06/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 637

You deserved it 10 771

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 637

You deserved it 17 843

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 026

You deserved it 251

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 129

You deserved it 3 333

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 970

You deserved it 3 756

Sorry dear

By Empi - 29/11/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 154

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 371

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 135

You deserved it 5 093

Drew_V 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:12

lol I'm sorry thats pretty funny

H00K_M 8

Friday 12 March 2010 16:13

But seriously...what kind of gun was it?

Comments

kimshoo 0

Friday 12 March 2010 19:53

he was probably trying to distract you- don't be a drama queen.

aj1095 0

Friday 12 March 2010 19:59

ur guy iz gutta!!:)

kally2010 0

Friday 12 March 2010 20:09

that's not bad he comforted you ! he was prob trying to make you laugh !!!

sabatical 0

Friday 12 March 2010 20:11

did he throw on some Bon Jovi to add to the effect?

Brittanysway420 0

Friday 12 March 2010 20:16

I think dreams can be scary, but don't cry about your BF asking about it! He probably was just as surprised as you were.

alin123 0

Friday 12 March 2010 20:20

what kinda gun was it LMAO that's priceless haa

DJ_Chutfield 4

Friday 12 March 2010 20:22

Haha, that's hilarious! And don't blame him, he was just trying to cheer you up and lighten the mood.

RKftw 0

Friday 12 March 2010 20:30

it better not have been a p90 or ur bf is a noob

screwballjtw 0

Friday 12 March 2010 21:49

nothin wrong with PDWs... you are a nub for thinking they are noobish

jessicams 0

Friday 12 March 2010 20:33

Could be worse, he could have really shot you.

Jessicaiful 0

Friday 12 March 2010 20:57

Your boyfriend sounds hilarious:)

Keywords

Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Relatable Kids Family Babysitter Thief Money Depression Mental health Health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Vacation Annoying Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Cats Animals Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 798

You deserved it 16 310

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 160

You deserved it 1 138

The Top

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 758

You deserved it 3 872

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 748

You deserved it 4 673

Today, I was in a hurry to catch a plane. I got halfway to the airport when I realized I'd forgotten my phone. I drove back to the house and searched for it. I finally gave up and returned to the airport, only to find that I was 10 minutes late for my plane. Just then, my pocket vibrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 922

You deserved it 40 507

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 709

You deserved it 2 408

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 888

You deserved it 1 151

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 638

You deserved it 7 005

Same thing different taste

The language of love

Psychopath's joke

Sorry dear

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