Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my roommate invited a couple of homeless gentlemen in to our house. After drinking all our beer, throwing up on our carpet, and repeatedly asking if we were planning on killing them, I asked them to leave. My roommate told them they're welcome back anytime. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my husband invited 20 of his friends over, no discussion, just 20 strangers in my house. I got mad and went upstairs to our bedroom, which has an en suite shower. I got naked, and yet another dude came out of our en suite and walked right past my bare ass while I screamed. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML
Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Hubby: Bless me wifey, for I have sinned... OP: You are forgiven, my hubby. Now go forth and sin no more... Hubby: What!? Hell no!!!! OP: Ok boys, hold him down and shave his head. If he doesn't repent, then continue with the pubes.
HelloGuys 4
You have to give your husband a blessing to go out with his friends?
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Comments (123)
BunnyRose 11
Stop the madness!
Iknoweverything 29
Honestly, I would probably tell them to leave, especially if there are other tenants in the building. (Can get you in trouble with the landlord.) If they don't, either lock the porch door, or tell them you're calling the police. Bringing home his drunk buddies without asking if you're okay with it is incredibly disrespectful. It's one thing to go out all night... it's another thing to bring drunk buddies home to disrupt your sleep and trash the place!
MsBHaven 8
...at what point did the OP say anything about them trashing the place ...and as for calling the police, thats a little extreme dont you think? ..It is the husbands place as well after all and if he wants to bring friends home its up to him surely? regardless of whether he should have made sure it was ok or not.. bet his wife wouldnt have thought twice about coming home with her friends after a night out had the circs been the same. Join the party and quit complaining.. or at least go and rescue your husband from a head shaving and tell them to quieten down!
dumboears 8
Yea I'm sure when you're intoxicated you think about the consequences of your actions too.
MrsVicious 8
You are crappy wife you have to give your husband your blessing and getting mad at him for getting home safely.
menacingsprite 3
I wouldn't go so far as to say she's a crappy wife. My husband out of RESPECT asks if it's all right to go out. Mostly to check and see if we have anything planned and money set aside for playing. This is normal in a grown up folks relationship. IJS.
unknown_user5566 27
57- Every comment I've seen from you has been overly harsh and negative. Not exactly the right attitude for an aspiring preschool teacher.
friedbunnies 9
Suck it up and throw a Pure Romance party next weekend. All night.
DoubleBlumpkin 4
If you let him out of the house more often things will not get as crazy. Once a year feels like spring break so he gets hammered and goes hard. You are a lame wife.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Who said she doesn't let him out of the house more often?
DoubleBlumpkin 4
and #43 you are a prude. Get off my lawn!!!!
THE_A_TEEN 28
And you're an idiot for not using the reply button. n00b
P1Nk13 7
apartments have porches???
Drizzelhell 3
Ya gotta remember those great days! Getting dunk falling in and off the porch, and shaving each others heads missing spots everywhere. Good times!
soad2014 7
Grab a beer, blow out the fuse on your tampon, and join in! How does that not sound fun?!
Emerald_86 0
If you were that mad you could have been a b and kicked them out..or you should have grabbed the clippers and took their eyebrows right off :)