Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Today, I got home after a long day and collapsed onto my bed… forgetting I'd left my laptop open on it. Now I have an expensive, broken pillow. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
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Top comments
KHADOOZLE 0
"DIGITAL PENILE OSCILLATION" WHAT THE **** DOES THIS MEAN? LIKE YOU TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR LAPTOP!!!
stain33319 0
your misuse of large words makes you that much more of a failure.
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Comments (43)
aahas7 0
How is this an FML. You're just a pathetic loser. Go get a girlfriend.
gesseniasxangel 0
Oscillation. Fans oscillate. Which means they rotate back and forth. You fail. And you're a dumbass. YDI x2
ragsy 7
You were trying to **** the exhaust fan on your computer?
asu28 0
Please refrain from using words that have more than 3 syllables. It just makes you sound stupid.
0 3
Let's see how long this FML stays up, considering an identical one (except it just said wank; the man was not trying to oscillate his penis) was taken down less than 24 hours ago.
GhostDuck 30
... It's still here.
Britsalmostlegal 17
My new favorite captain obvious. xD
Zanieboo44 0
Rofl.....,LMAO numba 7
Erindub 0
Hey at least you didn't wake up next to a girl with a bunch of STDs
Poppycorn22 0
Digits = your fingers. He was trying to sound technical. It would be like a woman saying "Digital Insertion" blahdy blah. They use the term all the time in medical school. Look it up.
Mr_schadenfreude 0
i don't think that's what USB slots are designed for...
skyttlz 32
win! XD
Vayerman 4
Why is this under intimacy? Laptops aren't girls!