Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Today, I got home after a long day and collapsed onto my bed… forgetting I'd left my laptop open on it. Now I have an expensive, broken pillow. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
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Top comments
KHADOOZLE 0
"DIGITAL PENILE OSCILLATION" WHAT THE **** DOES THIS MEAN? LIKE YOU TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR LAPTOP!!!
stain33319 0
your misuse of large words makes you that much more of a failure.
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Comments (43)
pomlaos 0
YDI this is epic fail.
NateFoust 0
i love the comments I'm luaghing at this so much
franfran_fml 0
I really thought that he said he tried to have sex with his laptop, not jack off to ****.
UbeenKAKed 0
This happens to me all the time. Its fun to see if you can bust a nut before you pass out. Im at 4 to 7. I'll update after the weekend. Im hoping to be at 5 to 7 by saturday night!!!
russiancat464 12
what the **** is penile oscilitation