Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Amateur_Dank 17
I would take the bitching just to watch someone farting their way into consciousness... these are the moments we live for
tygerarmy 35
Tell your dad to quit farting around.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (35)
arrowgold 19
Lol, now if only you could have caught it on video. Haha
christopherwilli 14
It's all ***** and giggles until someone starts bitching
kingkobrastrikes 13
it's all ***** and giggles until someone giggles and *****
tomfiedler22 4
Frickin' pickles man.
MRSwick2525 23
Two times that you had mentioned Pickles Dude, and it doesn't even have anything to do with these FML's or make sense. Do you have some sort of fascination? No don't answer that, I don't want to know.
MrZsDad 19
YDI because that is totally worth it! lol
Dick_diamond 22
I'm sure that made sense in your mind..
Andrewea 2
It is a kind of compliment. As in, "OP, your life might suck, but you're a wonderful person, and you DESERVE to have good things like that happen to you."
sstahpp 33
My dog woke himself up like this once,freaked out and then bit his own butthole.
_awwhellnaw_ 45
I live for moments like this :')
pete9913 23
How could you not break down laughing? That's hilarious.
worldclassrager 41
At least he didn't ground you
Hauclir 14
Is your dad a dog?
mattrd_fml 31
sounds like a smelly situation.