Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
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Top comments
poeticvibez07 0
that's what you get for being so damn cocky
plethora 3
You flashed your eyes? Can you teach me how to do that? Be handy for finding friends in dark pubs - "Just look for the flashing eyes".
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Comments (79)
CheckYourPockes 4
OMG BLUE EYES ARE SO FUKIN SEXY not you fail
vixenish 0
LOL when I saw this I read "trainees" as "trannies"... to go along with the gayness of flashing your blue eyes!
Rhaegar 0
I think that would have made a way more interesting FML.
Amy_10 0
So did I. And here I thought I was the only one! OP: Eye flashing? Really? That just makes you look gay...
Dr_Balls 0
It's not necessarily that you're ugly, OP, it's that you set off their sleeze-alarms as soon as you came within five feet of them.
freehugs80 0
you're their BOSS so its not really the same as dating a colleague... compare it to dating a teacher vs a classmate.
danzigPO_1939 0
where in this dude's post does it say that he's the boss? in my experience, bosses rarely train new employees, they've got more important shit to deal with...usually an experienced coworker does the training.
DameGreyWulf 1
I like brown eyes that are soft and big. Like a teddy bears, like I certain someone I know...~ How can you hate on an eye colour though? That's just evil. I love my gray-blue eyes. :C
skyeyez9 25
I think blue eyes are sexy. Mine are plain old brown....not very exciting.
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Gray-blue eyes for the win! :D Actually, mine change shades depending on what I'm wearing. But in general, most people tell me that they're really light blue.
Trebie 6
I'm sorry, this post doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me... You had to go FIND the trainees? Wouldn't they not only already be at your place of work, but pretty much be right in front of you as you're supposed to tell them where to go and what to do? And were they the only two there and just happen to be beautiful, or were you singling them out based on their beauty? Also, I'm not sure you can give yourself credit on acting like a gentleman if your only reason for doing so was to hook up with one of them. This doesn't seem so bad though, since they may have just assumed you were off limits, due to you being their trainer, and therefore their supervisor of sorts. Or maybe you're just not the kind of good-looking they like, even with your blue eyes. Either way, not a big deal.
ky_stone22 0
When he said he "found" trainees, i think he meant that he walked into his office and saw them there. Not that he literally went out to find them.
DameGreyWulf 1
"Trainees? Trainees? Excuse me have any of you people seen any trainees?" I lol'd... And yeah, actually, excellent point. If you're only being a gentlemen to hook up, wouldn't that make you technically a douchebag? Hah.
Amysbodybetrayal 0
@DameGreyWulf: I wonder if fathers have a secret sit-down with their sons that the mother is completely unaware of. "Okay son, you listen to your mother. She's gonna teach you how to be a gentleman, so you can use it to hook up with hot girls later in life. The rest of the time, be a complete asshole. Got it?"
DameGreyWulf 1
LMAO well, I didn't exactly mean it like that. It seemed to imply he wasn't normally so nice, just that it was a show he put on to get laid. Perhaps he's not a total jerk otherwise, but that alone makes him technically a jerk.
Amysbodybetrayal 0
LOL, I know that wasn't what you meant, but I just had the strange mental image of that kind of conversation. I'd be very worried if that's what dad's really did tell their sons... I think he's a jerk just for automatically wanting to hook up with the new trainees just because he thinks they're 'beautiful', which is probably his "gentleman" way of saying hot.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Oh my, you mean those blue eyes didn't automatically get you laid? :/ Creep.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Eh, count yourself lucky that you have blue eyes. Mine are like little drops of poo. Although, in the light, they do have a lot of green in them - I'm guessing because my mother has green eyes - so at least I have that little ray of sunshine to clutch onto until my eyes turn milky blue from future cataracts.