Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
poeticvibez07 0
that's what you get for being so damn cocky
plethora 3
You flashed your eyes? Can you teach me how to do that? Be handy for finding friends in dark pubs - "Just look for the flashing eyes".
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
kitkatkelly 0
Adam, is that you? You're such a pig.
lostguy 0
hmm for some reason i thought of blue eyes white dragon when you said that. and that you flashed your blue eyes card at them to show them that you played card games lol ^_^ yeah, nothing to do with what you said but still made me think of this while i was reading lol ^_^
xanth 0
I bet they just thought you were gay with all that eye-flashing.
FoundManyLemons 0
YDI, you self-absorbed, sociopathic prick.
veganphotog 0
You flashed your eyes? Dude, don't do that, it doesn't work -_-
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Your dislike of the eye color I was nearly 100% guaranteed to have saddens me. (both of my parents and three of my grandparents had blue eyes. The odds were highly in favor of blue eyes) Personally, I like them well enough, but I don't understand why people with brown eyes hate their eye color. I've seen some beautiful eyes that were quite a lovely shade of brown. And I've yet to see this "shit-brown" shade that some have claimed to have. I'm still not sure how "flashing" his eyes was going to get the OP anywhere. If anything, it'll get him a nice compliment about his eyes. The way it works for me, I get the "you have really pretty eyes!" line, I say thank you and smile, then we move on. No hookups, unfortunately.
Sonotsuave 37
Damn write a novel why don’t you?
gameoverman_fml 0
You thought you might be able to hook up with one of them? Dude, YDI for not trying to hook up with both of them. At the same time. Low-standard-havin' mofo.
timtam24 0
Look at my profile pic and you'll see the shit-brown which they speak of. When he said flashed his eyes i imagined him fluttering his eyelashes, which i don't think it would ensure him a hook up with either of them if that was the case.
kiwi0605 0
YDI moron
lukemarc 0
You flashed the wrong body part, mate.
celerysticks381 0
MADE MY DAY AND are you australian???!!?!!!