Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
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Top comments
poeticvibez07 0
that's what you get for being so damn cocky
plethora 3
You flashed your eyes? Can you teach me how to do that? Be handy for finding friends in dark pubs - "Just look for the flashing eyes".
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Comments (79)
busdrivertohell 0
You must realize, young one, that all the world is not open playground for you to be trying to bang people you work with. It does not end well.
purple91 8
Since when does blue eyes automatically = attractive? YDI for being arrogant when you have no right too :p
gowzer90 0
hahahaahahahaaa wot more can i say?
JanisEvans 10
So she thought you are gay. So what?
rockstarK9 0
YDI, for being a pig, and a big enough bitch to post on FML.
meyanna 0
BFD; who cares if they don't like you? Why don't you actually go OUT and try to get a girl, jackass?
mrsnicks 0
Don't date where you work idiot.
oNikkio 0
People who are self-absorbed because of their blue eye color disgust me. By self-absorbed I don't mean that they love their eyes, but rather think that they are better than others because of it.
adaliapeace 3
I have blue eyes, and personally I don't like them. =/ I never understood why people think they are superior because their eyes are blue. The only places it even matters anymore are places like Korea, where literally everybody has brown eyes and you get stopped on the street because the Korean kids think your eyes are so pretty it's unbelievable (my mom's experience, not mine). For the record, though, my boyfriend also has blue eyes and I like his, so maybe I'm just that against thinking anything positive about myself. I dunno.
Violacatt 0
You men totally misunderstood the situation. If the girls were asking if there are cute guys around they were leting the OP know that they are interested in the opposite sex-maybe they liked him.
shezzamezza 0
they just don't know what they're missing. blue eyes? acting like like a gentleman? don't worry, you'll end up with someone you deserve