Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML
Today, after showering and moisturising, I turned my fan on to max blast. I got covered in clumps of dust, which I had to take another shower to remove. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML
Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
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Top comments
YLS 0
Enjoy your melanoma, it'll make sweaty feet the least of your worries.
Eddie_Paints 0
YDI for the fake bake!
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Comments (133)
smartman136 8
@11umm i realy dnt give a **** if ur in california and can go to a beach nobody cres jst go back to ******* ur boyfriend and stop bitching
containsnosoy 0
Just wait twenty years and your skin will be much more gross than dirty feet.
sosadrightnow 4
I don't think you deserve it. You can't always control sweaty feet, which I guess a lot of these people don't care about.
amymarie13 0
you can get burned from laying the other way. when I was in HS I worked at a tanning salon and when we wanted to get super brown we did an " inverse" which is laying the other way.
amymarie13 0
hey idiot learn to spell pale you bimbo
sugarbabyxoxo 2
hey amymary suck a fat dick! lol
sugarbabyxoxo 2
Amymarie*****
RRC_fml 0
gym, tan, laundry bitches
damnrosi 0
benzoyl peroxied wash, works well on under your arms if you smell bad there too (it kills bacteria which causes the stink). Thank god for cosmo, the woman's bible! (no offence to religious people intended)
ReyEr9412 0
Well #90 just sunk her own ship.