Work: Today, I finally got a job interview, and I thought it went amazing....

By goodtiming - 20/05/2010 16:58 - Canada

Today, I finally got a job interview, and I thought it went amazing. They were supposed to call me today or tomorrow with the news. Today is also the day that my phone company decided to cut my phone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 912

You deserved it 5 590

Work

Leave us alone

Our house, in the middle of our street

Do your own research

Emotional lift

By ENZ - 03/11/2019 23:30

Today, I finally got my paycheck that I could enjoy $300 for myself after taking care of my bills with so many other ones. Then, I find out that the water was shut off, which is supposed to be my roommate's responsibility. Apparently, he has not paid it in months, and they want $288. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 256

You deserved it 161

Fragile

By Ouch - 18/01/2021 08:02

Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 92

By SoupCanoe - 29/08/2011 08:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 049

You deserved it 3 844

I am a lineman for the countyyyyyy…

By Anon - 13/03/2014 00:11 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 576

You deserved it 3 683

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 20/03/2021 03:01 - United States - Trenton

Today, while spacing out about my hot male boss, he called my name for something and I replied, "Yes Daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 1 288

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 00:21 - United States

Today, I woke up to the face of Billy, the puppet from Saw, staring down at me. I was so scared, I wet myself instantly. It was my cousin in a mask, who is staying over for Thanksgiving weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 019

You deserved it 6 115

Poor old George Orwell…

By literature - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff

Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 335

You deserved it 3 053

Secret life

By Anonymous - 06/08/2020 20:00

Today, the phone rang, it was some woman who wanted to speak to my dad. “It’s probably his mistress,” I said jokingly. Turns out it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 167

By ClearOne - 12/05/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 615

You deserved it 31 926

By Kjer - 24/03/2013 00:38 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 141

You deserved it 41 633

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 429

You deserved it 13 260

By sly - 25/10/2010 22:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 027

You deserved it 4 438

By MSguy - 27/08/2018 14:30

Today, I found out that the medication that's been free to me and has given me no noticeable side effects will be $1500 a month for my new insurance. This is a medication used to prevent my MS relapses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 647

You deserved it 124

By halza - 30/05/2016 11:03 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 362

You deserved it 963

By Julez - 14/01/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 214

You deserved it 13 630

Make your mind up

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, but on the way back was rear-ended, in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 955

You deserved it 3 173

Huh?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2009 18:03 - Spain

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter brought some bread and I started eating it as I waited for him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me and said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make you fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 203

You deserved it 7 033

By Anonymous - 18/12/2018 12:00

Today, after two years of hard work, I finished writing my novel dedicated to my father. I timed everything so that the paperback would arrive at his house just before Christmas, then I booked a flight to surprise him so I could see his reaction in person. He just texted me, my mom told him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 222

You deserved it 240

Mean girls

By Anonymous - 30/11/2021 05:01

Today, I found out via Whatsapp status about a girl's outing of a group I'm in. I wasn't invited. I'm 35 and it's high school all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 106

It's just me

By Anonymous - 20/02/2020 01:00

Today, I stopped by my elderly mother’s house to drop off some groceries. I decided to clean the place while I was there, just to be nice. In true Three Bears fashion, I fell asleep on the couch. I was awoken by a police officer pointing his gun at me. My mom woke up and thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 028

You deserved it 308

By EmbarrassedBather - 09/06/2019 00:00

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 325

By TheLemon - 17/02/2017 04:00 - Turkey - Aydin

Today, I finally had a chance to get outside after receiving shrapnel to my leg. My crutches had not yet arrived so I didn't want to risk it, but my buddies said they had my back. We went to the seaside and I sat down as they say they'd be right back. It started to rain and everyone forgot me. I can stand, but not walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 803

You deserved it 551

By scarredforlife - 08/08/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 143

You deserved it 7 172

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 05:40 - United States - Latonia

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 532

You deserved it 2 455

Let's go girls!

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 23:01

Today, someone said that women shouldn’t hate their menstrual cycles, because the hormonal changes were so "interesting". Sure, that’s the word I’d use for alternating between cramps and zits, being an insatiable nymphomaniac, and being so depressed I want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 135

By Jimmy Joe - 08/09/2017 20:00

Today, I went to Houston to help with hurricane relief and to donate supplies. Later, I realized that I'd accidentally donated a bag that had my brand new truck keys in it. I've been waiting for 5 hours already to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 391

You deserved it 850

Dream baby dream

By CJ. - 05/05/2021 14:01 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 224

By PaintedBum - 11/03/2019 18:00

Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 370

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 592

You deserved it 9 019

By dentistftw - 08/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, was my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 894

You deserved it 2 886

By prego - 24/08/2010 16:01 - Canada

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 465

You deserved it 5 295

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 529

You deserved it 20 993

By k.k. - 05/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Seymour

Today, I left 20 minutes early for school to get a good seat in class. I sat in traffic for 20 minutes before I even got on the thruway and for another 25 minutes once I got off the exit for school. Then I couldn't find parking at my university. I missed class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 875

You deserved it 789

The future

By omen - 02/09/2020 10:01 - Indonesia - Majalengka

Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 99

The sleepwalkers are at it again!

By sierra - 11/03/2021 02:02

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 18/06/2012 14:39 - Canada - Markham

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 167

You deserved it 2 719

Braggadocio

By snowwhite - 28/10/2013 04:51 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of, "how hard he gave it to me last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 546

You deserved it 10 098

By festival virgin - 29/05/2013 19:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold of while I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 381

You deserved it 5 701

By pencilskirt - 22/03/2019 00:00

Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 272

By allergic - 21/10/2010 03:12 - France

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 659

You deserved it 3 281

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Top comments

GamerGoddess 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:18

I would email (go toa friends house, Internet cafe, YMCA, or library) or drive/walk there. never give up, never surrender

mattman1994 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:18

i would just go stop by and ask... but jeez that sucks big time

Raleigh_bruh 7

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:10

What are the odds.

abbi96x 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:14

fuck ur life!

tarabelle 7

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:15

why can't you email them? your computer seems to be working..... justsaying....

IchbinSyn 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:31

Parents or friends number as a back up??? fyl

rohosoccer08 1

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:35

call the company and tell them, they may appreciate you taking initiative

momovanilla 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:48

stupid phone company >:(

rohosoccer08 1

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:56

there's payphones and friends phones... anyone can find a phone even if they don't have one

phreshboi 1

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Friday 21 May 2010 0:05

yeah guys but he can't phone them unless they phone you, that way u can't keep on phoning them and nagging them. and if anything send an email to the work explaing wat happend, If u have Internet (could have been a bundle)

RODEOqueen 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 0:05

Agreed 29. You call them and let them know what happened, and if you're too embarrassed then call back acting like it's a follow up call. Things are bound to turn around sometime! Keep your head up. :)

Notjustanother1 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 1:58

isn't that why you provide a cell and a house number and an email addresss ??

fletchasketch 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 2:21

liking the black peep i see

Giorgio272 2

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Friday 21 May 2010 3:56

eh your a chick. go be in a bad Porno and you will be set for at least a week or 2.

woz_fml 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 4:31

Just because your phone is cut off dose not mean that you can't accept incoming calls, unless it's a reverse charge. You just can't ring out.

diablodeldragoon 6

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Friday 21 May 2010 6:02

don't know what kind of service you have, both my cell and my land line stop accepting calls when the are shut off. With the exception that I am supposed to be able to call 911 from my cell even if I have no service. Not sure if it works i've never tried it.

helloello 2

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Friday 21 May 2010 6:05

idk if that's the exact reason why lol

piinkbunnii 1

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Friday 21 May 2010 7:28

If you your cellphone is your only way of communication, then yes you are screwed!!! But don't you have a house phone? The job should have a number, you can call so you can explain the situation!!

Crotcho_fml 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 8:22

that's happened to me before :( sucks. FYL&M

lindsaylikeomg 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 8:22

34- your dog is so cute!

ilovebradiew 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:11

lmao

Black_Letter 19

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Thursday 11 August 2011 16:43

Well just go back to the company you interviewed for and tell them to email you or call your home phone....

Emofluffinzhehe 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:11

wooooo awkward turtle!!!!

ibanez370 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 0:10

lol awkward turtle?

MnBran6 0

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Friday 21 May 2010 0:58

very.

UsualSuspect_fml 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:12

that sucks dude, I'm sorry.

Snugglez 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:14

lmao fyl!

Kristie_2009 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:14

Aw, that sucks :(

mattman1994 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:18

i would just go stop by and ask... but jeez that sucks big time

abbi96x 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:23

you're nice ;)

namnams 3

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:38

Ooooh flirty flirty.

mattman1994 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:39

thanks :D

abbi96x 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:40

Teehee ;)

Black_Letter 19

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Thursday 11 August 2011 16:45

Get a room you two

GamerGoddess 0

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:18

I would email (go toa friends house, Internet cafe, YMCA, or library) or drive/walk there. never give up, never surrender

N0vemberaccou_19 4

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Thursday 20 May 2010 23:18

Why don't you just call them, and explain that there is a problem with your phone, and then if they've made a decision, they can tell you then. If they haven't made a decision, set up another way for them to let you know, either they call one of your friends, they email you, or you call them back tomorrow on a pay phone or a friend's phone. I'm sure they'll understand.