Animals, Health, Weird and Cats: Cats rule the world

Cats rule the world

By Food Dispenser - 17/11/2022 06:00

Today, for some reason, I suddenly started having convulsions all over my body. It lasted until my cat showed up and purred his heart out on my chest until it stopped. He then immediately demanded that I feed him. Apparently, according to my cat, my only reason for existing is to feed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 269

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Same thing different taste

Cujo, but for cats

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 301

Signs of distress

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 213

Obey, human

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 12:00

Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 167

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 180

By Chat - 04/03/2018 19:00

Today, my only day off this week, my cat decided that she wanted feeding at 5am and wouldn’t stop meowing till I filled up her bowl. She then refused to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 940

You deserved it 741

By Noname - 30/01/2009 18:18 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 809

You deserved it 3 097

By Anonymous - 21/10/2012 05:59 - United States

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 6 072

By CatLady - 24/08/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 4 164

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 501

By mayhemily - 21/09/2015 16:22 - Canada - Aurora

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 484

You deserved it 2 977

poopface82 19

Thursday 17 November 2022 8:37

Cats are the kind of animals who would save a person’s life and then demand payment for doing so, so this line of behavior is entirely in line with how one would expect a cat to behave.

D J's MOM 17

Thursday 17 November 2022 12:23

he helped you first didn't he?

Comments

SamanthaThe1st 22

Thursday 17 November 2022 7:47

Well yeah, cats have a limited perception of humanity.

poopface82 19

Thursday 17 November 2022 8:37

Cats are the kind of animals who would save a person’s life and then demand payment for doing so, so this line of behavior is entirely in line with how one would expect a cat to behave.

D J's MOM 17

Thursday 17 November 2022 12:23

he helped you first didn't he?

Chazzster 28

Thursday 17 November 2022 18:51

Even human doctors and emergency workers expect to get paid. Your cat helped you somehow - Is that not worth being fed for?

Michael Sawyer 11

Friday 18 November 2022 1:19

well to be fair to your cat. for/to HIM your entire existence IS to feed him.

IHaveThePower 16

Saturday 30 September 2023 19:43

Cat purring is at a frequency that helps their bodies heal, and they do it during stress or pain to alleviate it. He was trying to help you, and probably then got hungry. He does actually love you, cats are just kinda dumb.