Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
A little treat
Today, the 4 year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl." Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML
Well done sweetie
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Kids Say the Darndest Things
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Top comments
cutycat136 28
Maybe you'll have to explain things a little more with this one. Maybe also mention where she could go if she knew she was awake. Not just that she could go if she was awake :P
russiancat464 12
cleanup on aisle 9!
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Comments (70)
Dave_Davington 35
She'll make a great lawyer someday.
Countryboy1996 18
I know you aren't supposed to tell people how to raise their kids.. But yours needs a whooping.
schalk 12
Nope. Wetting the bed can be either a psychological or physical problem.
De4dbite 6
Pinching yourself in dreams doesn't seem to work to prove it's not a dream. I once had a dream where I was back in secondary school, and it got over run by ancient Egyptians wanting to take over, and the pharaoh told me I had to marry his daughter or be executed. I pinched myself before answering to find out if I was dreaming. I pinched myself and it hurt, so I started panicking cause I 'wasn't dreaming', and had to spend my life married to an ancient Egyptian. Then I woke up.
Vesi 30
OK no idea what happened to my post (with a link) so do this.. Google Potty Pager. They work. I had my son fully night time trained in about 2 weeks using one. It has a sensor for when they start to go then starts this obnoxious vibrating to wake them up. I've actually helped train other children with these. It's worked every time.
Elyas83 4
My son the other day, "I went to the bathroom!" I was so excited because he isn't potty trained. I walk in the bathroom and don't see pee in the toilet. "Where did you go?", I asked. "In the corner.", he replied. So close.
Nevrdai 5
Tell her that if she's not sure if she is dreaming to try to remember how she got to where she was. If she can remember how she got there, she's probably awake and probably shouldn't pee herself/bed
fantasyworld 39
When it comes to little kids, details are important.