Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I was at my boss's house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4-foot cake before passing out. FML
Today, I woke up in my boss’s sofa. I was covered in vomit, my head was hurting too much, and the only thing I could remember from the party the day before was that I was holding hands with my boss. I thought the story ended there but turns out I bit him on the neck, not once, not twice, but thrice. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
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Top comments
zrhcrx 0
it's called learning your limit bud...do you still have a job?
McLaughlane 0
damn...YDI for not knowing when to stop. Especially around your boss.
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Comments (123)
funsize003 0
haha. atleast you didn't scream something stupid like: "I want you in me!"
notsocrafty 0
That six month review might be awkward.
bluedoll 1
Etiquette 101 Buddy: Never drink more than you know you can handle in front of your boss. NEVER. Fake it if you have to. If I were your boss, you wouldn't have a job and I'd let future potential employers know. Maybe I'm a bitch, but you probably embarrassed your boss with his clients because the people you employ reflect who you are, like it or not. Semantics question: How did you blackout, throw up, then pass out? If you blacked out, doesn't that imply you were GONE for the rest of the time? Just asking, I get what you're saying OP...just asking.
suckerz 0
sooooo YDI... firstly for drinking that much around your boss and stuff... and secondly you're the kind of person who takes advantage of others... you only drank that much cuz you weren't paying... why else would you mention that it was on his tab???
Slowhand_fml 0
That's beyond YDI...this one should just be "I'm an idiot".
AUT_student 0
methinks phone is gone because it's company phone and boss took it back. methinks you need a new job....
zombieman000 0
Self-control is important.
amazingkate 0
when partying with your boss, you are allowed 2 drinks. if you think my rule is lame or harsh, i don't want to hear any whining about what happens to you if you don't follow it. 3 drinks if you want to actually sleep with your boss.
Eros_fml 0
ya, YDi - im all for blacking out and waking up in vomit/the ground/mexico, but since it was around your boss, tsk tsk #30, two drinks? three if you want to sleep with boss? for most people who arent a little bitch, three drinks is nothing
Luckster 0
Why do people drink when they go places with their co-workers and/or boss? You're just asking for trouble!