Self-sabotage

By Anonymous - 15/11/2016 09:20

Spicy
Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks 6 826
You deserved it 12 575

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Your own cock block, shame haha

It's crazy what can happen in the heat of the moment, especially when you're nervous. I can tell you that from my own experience. Hopefully you guys work things out!

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Ayyee.. first comment! Woo! I'm really sorry about the awkward situation you landed in, OP. It sounds like you two could still come back from it!

But he got friendzoned

It's crazy what can happen in the heat of the moment, especially when you're nervous. I can tell you that from my own experience. Hopefully you guys work things out!

Your own cock block, shame haha

"We got married, had wonderful children that gave us grandsons, grew old together, and then i freaked and blurted out 'But aren't we just friends?' " Joke aside, YDI! You could have ended up with a boyfriend!

WHY? WHAT WAS THE REASONING?

This. If she said that because she was having second thoughts, as awkward as it came out, it was probably for the best. But if she was more trying to clarify "wait is this a casual friend thing, or more serious" and had a nervous brain fart moment...hopefully they can work it out.

From hands in the pants straight to the Friend Zone? It's hard to come back from that.

Fastest 100 to 0 I've ever seen lol

Sounds like a decent guy. Don't complain.

Maybe I should clarify. Since anything less than a 100% enthusiastic"yes" from the female is not considered consent, and you expressed doubt, he shut it down. Which is exactly what he should have done. Ergo, decent guy and don't complain.

Um, applaud him that he didn't rape her or what?

Well... pretty much. At the risk of sounding as old as I am, back in my day, the expected commentary would have been belittling the guy for not "giving it" to a girl who "obviously" wanted it. I didn't mean for the op to shut up by any means, I just meant don't inadvertently discourage the guy from doing the right thing. Glad to see things are changing, social change is a painfully slow process. So carry on, young SJW's. The future is not as bleak as up old farts fear.

your only 33....but whatever "old fart"

The birthday on my profile is just a random number, I don't use my real information online. Add a decade or two.

I think the reason you got down voted is that whether or not the guy did anything isn't the issue here. OP never said she didn't want to, so it's not about if the guy's "decent" or not. She panicked and said something she didn't mean to, and ruined the moment. THAT is why this is an FML.

No you do not need a "100% enthusiastic yes". There is non verbal consent as well. If a woman takes me to her house, starts undressing me, and pulls me into bed. That is non verbal consent. By the same token if she pushes me off of her but didn't say no, she still is no longer consenting and I must stop.

dont be an asshole

Yes, there are different ways of consenting, short of "an enthusiastic yes" or a signed and witnessed consent form, but equally, there are different ways of dissenting, and OPS friend was clearly sensible enough to pull back from something that they both might regret. In this case, probably better to regret not doing something than regret doing it. If they decide that they do want to be more than friends, they can always go there, if the friend's feelings aren't too out of joint.

I guess it wasn't supposed to happen then, because it seems that both of you care more about the friendship than you think.

There is a ner world called "fuck buddies" that you could have jumped into.