By Anonymous - 15/11/2016 09:20
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This. If she said that because she was having second thoughts, as awkward as it came out, it was probably for the best. But if she was more trying to clarify "wait is this a casual friend thing, or more serious" and had a nervous brain fart moment...hopefully they can work it out.
Well... pretty much. At the risk of sounding as old as I am, back in my day, the expected commentary would have been belittling the guy for not "giving it" to a girl who "obviously" wanted it. I didn't mean for the op to shut up by any means, I just meant don't inadvertently discourage the guy from doing the right thing. Glad to see things are changing, social change is a painfully slow process. So carry on, young SJW's. The future is not as bleak as up old farts fear.
I think the reason you got down voted is that whether or not the guy did anything isn't the issue here. OP never said she didn't want to, so it's not about if the guy's "decent" or not. She panicked and said something she didn't mean to, and ruined the moment. THAT is why this is an FML.
No you do not need a "100% enthusiastic yes". There is non verbal consent as well. If a woman takes me to her house, starts undressing me, and pulls me into bed. That is non verbal consent. By the same token if she pushes me off of her but didn't say no, she still is no longer consenting and I must stop.
Yes, there are different ways of consenting, short of "an enthusiastic yes" or a signed and witnessed consent form, but equally, there are different ways of dissenting, and OPS friend was clearly sensible enough to pull back from something that they both might regret. In this case, probably better to regret not doing something than regret doing it. If they decide that they do want to be more than friends, they can always go there, if the friend's feelings aren't too out of joint.