Today, I went to see a movie with a seemingly nice guy after a friend set us up. As soon as the movie started, he unzipped his pants and told me to, "Get to it". FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML
Today, I went to a movie with this guy. He was late so the only seats available were the ones in the very front which he refused to sit in. As we were looking for two seats, he spotted one near the back and sat down, leaving me to sit by myself in the front. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LMAO__no 15
I would have laughed and promptly moved to another seat!
TAntobella 14
Wow. Fire your friend..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (150)
Tripartita 45
I can sympathize, OP; dates often confuse me for a tailor and expect me to make alterations to their pants. It's gotten to the point where it's just easier to keep a thread and needle on me at all times.
NakedandAfraid 14
this comment is genius
Angsty_Armadillo 25
I had to scroll back up and read the FML for this one to hit me.
AkBunny907 18
I'd personally laugh and tell him I don't see anything worth getting to
smoothies14 32
I hope you poured his drink on it and left right then.
steam_engenius 21
Yes!
Shmatterhorn 38
And waste an expensive movie theater soda? Just laugh and point, then move as far away as possible (or even leave).
smoothies14 32
That's why it's HIS pop.
Jets4Life89 4
Don't...date....him...all women I'm telling you this, that dick probably did that before and had some stupid bitch do it so now he treats you all like crap, don't give him the time of day.
CharlieM78 9
There's also the possibility he wasn't interested and decided to make you leave instead of him leaving by being a douche.
TheGolfGTI 24
Really? He couldn't have done anything else like a sane rational adult? Like, I don't know, leave?
Algorithm 24
Women participating in consensual sex acts aren't "stupid bitches" for it and it doesn't cause gross dudes to be gross. Full responsibility goes to him for being an asshole with no social skills who's apparently confused his first date for a fleshlight.
9a_1z 12
People are upvoting this but all I see is someone thinking it's okay to call women stupid bitches for dating people they don't approve of, and expecting OP to be so weak willed that she needs their input on the subject. Am I missing something?
allplayedout 20
How tall are you that you can reach far enough to blame this ********'s behavior on a completely hypothetical woman?
gratunka 11
Yeah ask your friend what they said as the selling point to get the date for you. they may have some misconceptions about you
Cnscott0205 15
You should've said, "Aw! Hey there little guy."
LuckBeNimble 19
and if it was huge? I mean, I get the impulse to make fun of his package for being a douche--but that type of behavior doesn't warrant a response to begin with; why repay disrespect by lowering yourself to that level? idiots never learn anyway.
KneeJerker 24
Yeah you should get to it. Get straight to punching him in the balls. Sorry OP. Hope you promptly left the idiot that thinks he's better than anyone else.
Rammer3500 23
You should have told him to get the hell out
lexred 30
Don't be with him....or these type if guys. Else you'll have to "get to it" for the rest of your life.
kmw003 17
lol did you get to "spilling" your drink on his pants instead?