Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML
Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
Today, I walked into the glass door of my boss’s cabin and broke my spectacles. Thank god for a backup pair, right? Wrong. I fell down the stairs and broke them too. FML
Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML
Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML
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Top comments
tkdgold03 5
it must not have been heads up...
scenechic 5
Happy Friday Thee 13th.
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Comments (127)
Nnmmbb9 0
You should of picked up the good luck faster.
style54321 0
That's what they call a corndog at my school they hurt
Pelreskovich 11
Someone? Random person just rhinoed your ass? I take it you just got up and let them walk away? I would have got up and beat their ass and walked away proudly with that penny. I suppose that'd be difficult if you can't see though..
perdix 31
You got some butt action. How is that not lucky? Maybe your broken glasses will push to LASIK or contacts, and then you'll get lucky with your hot, new look.
Halti 4
legend
grannygruber 6
Friday the 13th strikes! Haha, that's funny shit! FYL
The_DoritoNinja 4
It's what you get for picking up Jew gold. I heard they don't like anyone touching their gold.
gracehi 33
^^ I anticipate that this comment will be moderated.
DocBastard 40
I anticipate some kind mod will come along and first moderate this comment, immediately followed by a well-deserved banhammer up the ass. The **** is wrong with you, son?
Kaykay2565 9
Are you Velma from scooby doo?
gracehi 33
That actually happened in Virginia recently, so it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility.
loserman67 36
I get the mental image of OP walking along whistling a happy little tune, when suddenly his "mental dialogue" kicks in: "Hey a penny! See a penny pick it up, all day long have good... ****!"
thejewishfuhrer 17
Sheer brilliance. Bravo sir.
Venaros 5
"It's a trap!"