Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
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Top comments
trackrunner525 0
lmao, that sucks man...blue balls :-p
coloradodude12 0
Ouch. But she was drunk.
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Comments (170)
palmtrees 1
#45 - my mistake, I meant number 12 not 13. The one who said to kick her to her knees (I'm 44).
noclevername 0
She was drunk enough to give you head in public. Why would she think it inappropraite to go do something which is fun even when sober?
noclevername 0
Also, to the people who said that next time he's doing something for her he should stop half-way, or when she's nearly there: FYL if thirty seconds is half-way/nearly there for you.
garry24 0
wtf #15? nobody said anything about driving. i think YOU were drunk when you posted that
gaby904 0
#44 stop taking things seriously, its obviously a joke.. #13 hilarious.. just hilarious! lmao :-)
ZiggyMorrison 0
number 15,18,27 stfu your all idiots and who ever said 13 is horrible im gonna go ahead and say WOW your all ******* stupid he's bloody joking and for all of those who are defending the chick you clearly dont understand the concept of blue balls there is so much pain that comes from getting aroused than not being able to cum its indescribable, Its a bitch move so dont ever do it ladies
ShortyBBangin 0
AHAHAHAHAHA...
xClarkGable 0
your girlfriend is a skankwhore and you're sleezy.
vitaminsandminer 0
i dont get how his girlfriend is a *****? it just sucks for him, not all sorority girls are *****. some yes, probably the majority, but not all of them.
jio_freed 0
this is why we need a "so what" button. she was drunk, you were too, deal with it