Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
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Top comments
trackrunner525 0
lmao, that sucks man...blue balls :-p
coloradodude12 0
Ouch. But she was drunk.
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Comments (170)
balthasar_fml 0
#20 is right on.
strangersdk 0
Next time just get her to the point of almost-****** and just stop and bail out. If I were you, I'd have had one of her friends or another sorority party-goer finish the job.
tomasss 0
she isn't a **** she was just drunk and having fun. this is a really funny story though. sucks about the blueballs but this is a good story!
dr_house_MD 0
close the door and finish it up with ur left hand
fatfaceunited 0
your pissed cause you got head in a bathroom???? you are lucky ass mother ****** as I see it
shaBAMalex 0
How does giving your boyfriend head make you a *****? A ***** is someone who sleeps with a lot of guys. Who cares if it was in a bathroom.. o_O
DanceRox9008 0
i agree with #22. shes totally right. also, at my school there definitely isn't alcohol at formals-especially for people who are underage. its monitored by bartenders if there is, so pregaming would be the only option if you wanted to drink for it. but that was really dumb of the OPs gf to give him head in the bathroom at formal. both of you should have had more class than that. so FAIL. and YDI.
thelonelylurker 0
What #39 said. How is this even a FML. Maybe if then you tried to ********** but you were too drunk and ya broke your penis in the door. Then... not even then. Enjoy your girlfriend.
strawberry_78 0
you were both drunk...shit happens, maybe next time wait until she has fewer distractions and she might finish you off, or get a new gf.
philadelphianus 0
#15 nobody said anything about driving