Today, my rabidly pro-life friend has been touting off about, “My body, my choice” because of the proposed vaccine mandates. When I reminded her that she’s always been against women making choices about their bodies, she screamed I was a murdering, commie bitch. Thanks, friend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my aunt told me that I'm dead to her now and not to visit them ever again. Why? She found out that I'm pro-choice. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML
Today, one of my closest friends is an antivaxxer. Neither I nor my family are guaranteed to survive Covid, even though we are vaccinated, and I just can't understand why she will not get the jab when she knows so many people have died from Covid, while only a handful have died from the vax DUE TO COMPLICATIONS, and now she may hate me. FML
Today, I hate the government for starting talking about vaccine passports and mandating the Covid-19 vaccine, because I almost had my wife convinced to go get it, and now she's all, "I'm not doing something they are telling me I have to do. I'm not a sheep." FML
Today, my close friend who’s always been incredibly vocal about how much she hates children, never wants to be around them or have anything to do with them, stopped speaking to me. She’s incredibly "hurt" that I asked another friend to be my unborn child's godmother instead of her. FML
Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, after my girlfriend of a year got accidentally pregnant, we were discussing it, and she only just now revealed she thinks vaccines are an evil conspiracy between hospitals and drug companies, and she’s carrying my baby. The next 18 years with this mad woman are not going to go well. FML
Today, my friend went on a lengthy rant about how people are "healthy at any size" and I need to embrace fat pride, after I said I intend to lose weight to alleviate my digestive and breathing troubles. Apparently her activist forum knows more about my health than my own doctor. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
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Top comments
Alan883 11
you just don't get it. "her body, her choice" obviously is completly different compared to "your body, your choice". denying the first one is opressing her, denying the second one is stopping people from becoming murderous commie bitches and making jesus proud of you for fighting the good fight. i hope i could help clarify to you why she isn't a hypocrite but a hero so you can see her for the great person that she is. /s
RichardPencil 32
Why do you have such a friend? You can always hire a hooker for a handjob or a guy who walks humans like pets. Both sound preferable to your "friend."
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
Why do you have such a friend? You can always hire a hooker for a handjob or a guy who walks humans like pets. Both sound preferable to your "friend."
Alan883 11
you just don't get it. "her body, her choice" obviously is completly different compared to "your body, your choice". denying the first one is opressing her, denying the second one is stopping people from becoming murderous commie bitches and making jesus proud of you for fighting the good fight. i hope i could help clarify to you why she isn't a hypocrite but a hero so you can see her for the great person that she is. /s
MorganHex 28
that's not a friend that's a toxic ass person handing you the scissors to cut them TF out of your life.
jobekka 20
how did you expect it to go?
Nhayaa2.0 17
I can easily have friends I don't always agree with on many subjects but this subject is way past my level of acceptance. So I'd say you misspelled "ex friend".