Love: Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I...

By newlydumped - 21/09/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 649

You deserved it 64 483

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 546

You deserved it 49 400

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 511

You deserved it 67 421

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 371

You deserved it 23 060

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 232

You deserved it 3 802

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 630

You deserved it 39 378

By Mr_poole - 18/05/2013 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 867

You deserved it 5 354

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 624

You deserved it 4 155

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 502

You deserved it 6 583

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 04:04 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 981

You deserved it 2 906

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 379

You deserved it 103 184

f_alltheirlives 3

Monday 21 September 2009 9:39

Appreciate an awesome girlfriend you stupid COW!(ABUNGA)

passwordis_fml 2

Monday 21 September 2009 9:38

don't mock the ninja turtles..

Comments

Glam_fml 0

Monday 21 September 2009 15:11

Haha I have TMNT towels too! -high fives your ex girlfriend- Luckily, my boyfriend is also awesome and loves them as well. We still play Turtles in Time.

davidomke 0

Monday 21 September 2009 15:49

you're a dumbass, really

insomniacdude 0

Monday 21 September 2009 15:50

YDI for dating a five year old.

kiwee123 0

Monday 21 September 2009 16:00

fair enough

vendris 5

Monday 21 September 2009 16:02

YDI for mocking TNMT!

fash 0

Monday 21 September 2009 16:05

Critical hit!

Intoxicunt 5

Monday 21 September 2009 16:10

You have a girlfriend, yet you live in Texas? I thought all you cowboys liked "Brokeback Mountain"... Or maybe you moved there after you got her interested, in which case, no wonder she dumped you. There, plexi. :)

plexico 3

Monday 21 September 2009 17:42

Oh, the pain! I have a dog who someone told me was a breed that was a great cattle dog. I've always wanted to bring her around some cows to see if her instincts kick in. I don't even know anyone with cattle. Some Texan I am, huh?

Intoxicunt 5

Monday 21 September 2009 17:46

That's because you eat all the cattle. You're a fine Texan. Eating and herding is interchangeable. Ok, I think I found my "mean joke" limit. I just thought of a nice one in reference to cows, but...I think it would be crossing the line. So I'll keep this one to myself.