Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML By Alan Malec's illustrated FML Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way... 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share By duncan74 / Wednesday 10 December 2014 03:23 / France
By Alan Malec's illustrated FML Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way... 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohgosh... - United States - Fenton Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML I agree, your life sucks 39192 You deserved it 2749 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Houston Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML I agree, your life sucks 18508 You deserved it 3754 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lonely loser - United States - Seattle Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41667 You deserved it 6743 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By News to Me Today, I went to switch my phone number to a new carrier. During the credit check, I was told that I couldn't because I already had an active account. This came as a surprise, as I've never had an account with that carrier. Time to file a fraud claim. FML I agree, your life sucks 3178 You deserved it 154 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Virginy - France Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML I agree, your life sucks 36592 You deserved it 2598 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jon - United States Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML I agree, your life sucks 13598 You deserved it 69712 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had a bunch of friends over for a party. My mom came stumbling into my room, crying about how she was officially menopausal, and that I was going to "die an only child." FML I agree, your life sucks 29171 You deserved it 2306 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By S. Fancyson - United States Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML I agree, your life sucks 52315 You deserved it 9613 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ggbhghggg - United States Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML I agree, your life sucks 9647 You deserved it 42454 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nh-Amazon - United States - Plano Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML I agree, your life sucks 47229 You deserved it 7280 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Estonia Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML I agree, your life sucks 39451 You deserved it 10392 274 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 53351 You deserved it 29529 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Auburn_flame" Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML I agree, your life sucks 2259 You deserved it 320 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Austin Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML I agree, your life sucks 55778 You deserved it 6714 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mr.Incognito-san - 19/11/2020 02:02 Are you ready to ruuuuuumbbbbbble? Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML I agree, your life sucks 902 You deserved it 1161 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gas-pingForAir - United States - Columbia Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 12692 You deserved it 1643 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chris - United States Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 39385 You deserved it 3905 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By parched - United States Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML I agree, your life sucks 33683 You deserved it 3251 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sad guy - 8/1/2021 20:01 - United States - Baltimore Brotherly love Today, I felt so lonely that I was almost jealous of the way Chris Cuomo and Don Lemon playfully express affection for each other on CNN. FML I agree, your life sucks 592 You deserved it 195 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML I agree, your life sucks 23231 You deserved it 6450 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pooperscooper - Australia - Hunters Hill Today, I had to wipe someone else's shit off the toilet seat for the third day in a row. We had a new staff member join our team three days ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 7156 You deserved it 445 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML I agree, your life sucks 11813 You deserved it 34183 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By agony - United States Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML I agree, your life sucks 36946 You deserved it 5860 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Robert Herrin Kinky Crab Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML I agree, your life sucks 976 You deserved it 1992 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jobless - United States - San Francisco Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML I agree, your life sucks 36952 You deserved it 3216 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By deargodwhy - 4/9/2020 10:03 Throwing shade Today, my 12-year-old daughter was suspended from school for doing a book report on 50 Shades of Grey. FML I agree, your life sucks 1069 You deserved it 732 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dracer - United States Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML I agree, your life sucks 40811 You deserved it 3949 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By now have a cat - United States - Glenview Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML I agree, your life sucks 47717 You deserved it 3944 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 8677 You deserved it 34641 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML I agree, your life sucks 55752 You deserved it 4953 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By galen - United States Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML I agree, your life sucks 64867 You deserved it 27643 325 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - Australia - Perth Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 46537 You deserved it 20192 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Ireland - Mountmellick Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML I agree, your life sucks 44284 You deserved it 3220 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML I agree, your life sucks 28758 You deserved it 16225 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out that being the "bull" of a cuckold relationship is not as good as it looks to be. She is pregnant and now the couple, despite earning triple figures, is suing me for child support. I'm in college. FML I agree, your life sucks 1851 You deserved it 3856 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CallaC - Canada Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML I agree, your life sucks 39402 You deserved it 2873 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML I agree, your life sucks 48558 You deserved it 210917 258 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/5/2020 05:00 TMI Today, I was trying to teach my Aunt and Gran to use Google drive to share and upload pictures, when I scrolled past an image of my… yep. I didn't have a mirror when the pic was taken and I was concerned about a sore. Now they just think I'm a whore. FML I agree, your life sucks 1220 You deserved it 473 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Orlando Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML I agree, your life sucks 40906 You deserved it 28786 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KamiyaHaine - Singapore - Singapore Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML I agree, your life sucks 48297 You deserved it 4252 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Llamassss | 21 #6140381 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:30 Cats usually make noise like that when they want something. Send a private message 128 5 Reply
By silvercamaro | 22 #6140382 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:30 Put a board in front of the flap at night Send a private message 112 5 Reply
By Llamassss | 21 #6140381 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:30 Cats usually make noise like that when they want something. Send a private message 128 5 Reply
Reply vikky538 | 28 #6140387 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:34 if they want to mate..then the noises are unbearable Send a private message 44 2 Reply
Reply martin8337 | 35 #6140466 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 17:26 At 3 in the morning, it's just the late night crazies. Most all cats are light that because they are nocturnal. Send a private message 25 3 Reply
Reply chicme | 9 #6140509 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 19:11 Cats are actually crepulscular, they are most active in early morning and twilight. :) Send a private message 27 0 Reply
Reply gabwielle | 8 #6140686 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 22:36 My cat stays quiet if I tell her to knock it off(thank god). Down side it's a daily routine Send a private message 4 10 Reply
Reply LocsOn | 13 #6141128 - Thursday 11 December 2014 9:24 not even mad....im impressed Send a private message 15 3 Reply
By silvercamaro | 22 #6140382 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:30 Put a board in front of the flap at night Send a private message 112 5 Reply
Reply Enslaved | 36 #6140405 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 15:04 But if someone stopped you from flapping, wouldn't you be upset? Send a private message 76 4 Reply
By appletreee | 29 #6140383 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:31 Sounds like a CATastrophe Send a private message 102 15 Reply
Reply powerranger123 | 12 #6140413 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 15:12 OP should tell them to stop right meow! Send a private message 44 3 Reply
Reply TheGolfGTI | 24 #6140428 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 16:02 Did you really just do that? You've got to be kitten me! Send a private message 35 3 Reply
Reply skittle_QUEEN_YO | 15 #6140457 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 17:08 Gosh i would be LION if i said i didnt find this funny Send a private message 30 6 Reply
Reply LocsOn | 13 #6141129 - Thursday 11 December 2014 9:25 this post is purrrrrrfect Send a private message 15 5 Reply
Reply LPac5295 | 27 #6146683 - Wednesday 17 December 2014 7:55 Guys you have all crossed feLINE here. Send a private message 9 0 Reply
Reply Applesarefum | 9 #6190231 - Monday 2 February 2015 15:39 lmeow Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By surranger | 19 #6140384 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:31 put them somewhere they cant touch it :o Send a private message 20 5 Reply
Reply cherry_popper69 | 11 #6141035 - Thursday 11 December 2014 5:41 Or pull out a water bottle spray spray spray at 3am spray spray spray Send a private message 9 8 Reply
Reply XQuartzX | 15 #6141485 - Thursday 11 December 2014 19:21 that's just too harsh. Send a private message 5 4 Reply
By Purexinsanity | 46 #6140385 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:33 time to buy them a toy! Send a private message 37 4 Reply
Reply thatsLEGENDARY | 15 #6140407 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 15:08 That just depends on the toy ;) ;) Send a private message 2 36 Reply
By sarah5745 | 41 #6140386 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:33 Isn't there something which can lock a cat flap?? Or like stop it from moving? Send a private message 27 4 Reply
Reply zeemonster424 | 15 #6140414 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 15:14 Just get a hook and eye... Or if it's plastic maybe Velcro? Send a private message 11 2 Reply
By alaen23 | 23 #6140391 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:39 If you can't count sheep at least you can count this..... Send a private message 46 2 Reply
By AGB10 | 19 #6140393 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:43 No catnaps for you then Send a private message 13 1 Reply
By gothicrebel | 11 #6140394 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:48 10 th comment! Send a private message 0 21 Reply
By hard_candy | 25 #6140397 - Wednesday 10 December 2014 14:53 haha that's too funny! at 3:00 AM: "yo, I'm bored," "oh, oh, oh, let's play that one game and annoy the sleeping human..." Send a private message 84 4 Reply
Today, I'm in a relationship in which the sex was great and constant at the beginning. Now it’s so quick, bad and inconsistent, it’s like going at it with... I agree, your life sucks 292 You deserved it 43 0 Comments
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to... I agree, your life sucks 644 You deserved it 44 7 Comments