Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well...

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 475

Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Charlie Given 26

Send a private message

Thursday 16 May 2019 22:30

Did it make the lightsaber sound when it's sliced through your finger🤣🤣😂

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Thursday 16 May 2019 23:48

Looks like you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you did sharpen it!

Comments

Charlie Given 26

Send a private message

Thursday 16 May 2019 22:30

Did it make the lightsaber sound when it's sliced through your finger🤣🤣😂

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Thursday 16 May 2019 23:48

Looks like you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you did sharpen it!

zuckerburg 21

Send a private message

Friday 17 May 2019 10:12

You know nothing of lightsabers... they cut *OFF* not through. Did you lose your finger? Otherwise GTFO with your moaning. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!

Keywords

Social Media Instagram Love Parents Kids Grandparents Awkward Sex Doctor Health Intimacy Relatable Cars Annoying Transportation Nightmare Drugs LGBTQIA+ Cops ACAB Kittens Cute Cats Mental health Depression Marriage Relationships Argument Ecology Facebook

The Top

Today, I realized that every other targeted ad I see is for some sort of dating app. I've been single on and off for 5 years now, and it's starting to get to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 131

Today, I'm recovering from my second back surgery. I survived four years in the Army with one combat tour without major injury, only to destroy my back the day after discharge by lifting my mother-in-law's suitcase into the trunk of her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 233

You deserved it 615

Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 362

Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 2 953

Today, I was walking through the woods when a flasher popped out of the woods buck naked, smoking a cigarette. I ran away as fast as I could. I later went to an animal shelter, looking for a dog to go on walks with me. The flasher worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 86

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 016

You deserved it 6 930