By clodius - United Kingdom - Airdrie
  Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML
clodius_fml tells us more :
Hi, OP here. I genuinely didn't think this would be published but here we go. Yes on that night I was extremely drunk and she was drinking heavily too, and I mean heavily. I didn't notice the huge bump because 1) I was shitfaced 2) She hid it extremely well. Anyway after talking to a few people it seems that this woman has been going around for the past 7 months sleeping with people and saying they are the dad. I have nothing wrong with people having sex when they aren't in a relationship but don't try and pin point your baby's dad on some bloke. It is wrong on so many levels.
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Top comments
By  thrifting  |  18

If she had been drinking heavily, I feel bad for that baby. Fetal alcohol syndrome is serious, not to mention she's probably been shitfaced every other time she's slept around and tried to pull that trick. :/

By  CheeseTron  |  15

heavily pregnant eh? never heard that one before.

  BMTHsuperfan  |  18

I would just like to say on behalf of my fellow californians, that I have heard "heavily pregnant" used to describe a woman before. I don't think its necessarily a northern or southern thing.

  shyeahh_fml  |  19

In support of 42, I'm also from California and the term isn't necessarily uncommon. California does have a big mixture of cultures though so it may be a cultural thing possibly. But now that I've typed that out it seems even more unlikely... Hmm.

  joliebleuciel  |  3

Well, gee. I wonder how all these diseases keep spreading? I'm sorry, but I am sick of hearing ignorant ass things like stop the slut shaming. There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex. Sleeping with people you met that day... People you DON'T KNOW?!? Ya know what? Never mind. You go right on ahead. Trust that thin piece of latex to guard your life. I sure as hell won't be teaching my children that sort of behavior is in any way acceptable. I do believe live and let live, but on a site or any situation where people make their personal business known it is not my job or anyone else's to validate that type of behavior. And let me be clear, that goes for men AND women.


43, I 100% agree with you. I think the term "slut shaming" was most likely invented by someone who had a lot of unsafe sex and got ridiculed for it. So now every one who has unsafe sex uses that as there go to response for any negativity they get about it.

  jazzy_123  |  20

I'm from Cali and never heard that one either. Some people will sat "woah she's ready to pop!" but I don't know what you guys think of that term lol

  skyttlz  |  32

I hear "ready to pop" a lot. Usually people just kinda stick their arms out with their hands touching as a visual example of "heavily pregnant." Washingtonian by the way.

  Llama_Face89  |  33

32- while I'm sure she knew he wasn't she also seemed to think she could convince him he either passed out for several months or that she jumped straight to the third trimester overnight... Nobody with a modicum of intelligence would believe that OR try to convince someone of it.

  clh3031  |  6


Nothing is obvious when YOU'RE drunk.

Those contractions get me every time but I wanted to get it corrected for all you OCD grammer nazis

By  gracehi  |  31

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

  gracehi  |  31

Oh geez. I was afraid the vast majority of FML commenter would be too moronic to realize that was a joke. *sigh* Obviously you can blame her for trying, if only because Forest Gump wouldn't even fall for that. I doubt she was serious. Probably pulling his leg as a joke.

  SlapAndTickle  |  20

Hey, speak for yourself. I like #7. And guess what, I thought it was funny too. It's called sarcasm. Try to get with the program. On a side note: freaking noobies thinking they know everything.

  gracehi  |  31

Given the thumbs down you also received, 164, it seems that no one likes you either. Join the club! We have cookies and punch with chunks of pineapple in it!

  Jaxx66  |  21

Oh no, shes had enough from other guys. This chick is pregnant and trying to peg any dude she sleeps with as the daddy so she can get more child support. Why on earth would it be more of an FML for her?
in the timeless words of children: "She started it!"