Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was in confession telling my sins to the priest, he called me a "pain in the ass." FML
Today, while helping at my grandma's church, the new Orthodox Priest encouraged me to come to confession because he was sure I would have "a lot of stories to tell" and finished by seductively winking at me. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, one of my employees lied to his mother and told her that I’m his girlfriend, so she actually came to invite me to Sunday dinner. Nice woman, but I had to tell her he lied, since I’m married, to my wife. She kicked up a huge stink in the shop and accused me of using her son for "hetero sex". FML
Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML
Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML
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Top comments
LeChuck 0
Well (by being catholic) you made your own bed now lie in it love me some sin
greenfinch 0
Ouch.
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Comments (85)
x3_LaLa_3x 0
There's nothing wrong with Catholisism. I highly doubt *any* priest would say something like that during confession. On the off chance he did, it was probably meant as a joke.
Ahhem 0
Your priest obviously did not attend divinity school.
MJ_Alexander 0
HA Catholic confession isn't half as bad as Orthodox is.
AliSama 17
i would say, yes, i heard they made bad grammar a sin as well.
oh_haaybby 0
ahhh , priests .
fcuk_fml 0
which church is this? the priest sounds like a hoot. hahaha
cantwhistle 0
your lying now. have fun in hell
green_199 0
Become an atheist!
dcapp 0
christians suck
mindfreakish 0
you KNOW it's bad when your own priest doesn't believe you're having sex.