Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was in confession telling my sins to the priest, he called me a "pain in the ass." FML
Today, while helping at my grandma's church, the new Orthodox Priest encouraged me to come to confession because he was sure I would have "a lot of stories to tell" and finished by seductively winking at me. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, one of my employees lied to his mother and told her that I’m his girlfriend, so she actually came to invite me to Sunday dinner. Nice woman, but I had to tell her he lied, since I’m married, to my wife. She kicked up a huge stink in the shop and accused me of using her son for "hetero sex". FML
Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML
Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML
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Top comments
LeChuck 0
Well (by being catholic) you made your own bed now lie in it love me some sin
greenfinch 0
Ouch.
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Comments (85)
bulburt 0
I totally interpreted this a different way, i was under the impression that the priest thought you were lying about the gender of the person you slept with.
alex_vik 1
Ouch, burned by the priest.
MsSippi 0
harsh.
ell3x0 0
i would of shot back "well God doesn't like priests who are ******* assholes either"
iaplc 0
he is calling you ugly
surfbaby 0
That is weird that a priest would say that. very unprofessional
gs_fml 0
maybe he meant lying to your wife?? possible.
gs_fml 0
if u have one
infidelboy 0
thats hilarious
Taihen 0
"And guess what, you marry someone because you love him/her, you don't love the person because you marry him/her. Love preceeds marriage and if God intended to say that loving someone you're not married to is wrong, then God is wrong and therefore bad." In places like ancient china where arranged marriages were women would say that love came after the marriage. God also would not say that loving someone you're not married to is wrong, for one should love everyone according to God. God's issue is having sex with someone you're not married to. Love and sex are two seperate things. Sex can be an expression of love, but isn't explicitly so and, in Catholic view, should thus be saved for marriage only.