Miscellaneous: Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and...

By Username - 08/07/2011 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 527

You deserved it 5 597

Miscellaneous

Age difference

Goldmining

Thanks, great feedback everyone!

By Jack - 30/11/2010 08:48

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 747

You deserved it 3 679

By jonhapimp - 21/08/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I found out that my Mom had taken out a loan out on my car from the repo man taking my car away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 906

You deserved it 2 454

By noname - 13/12/2008 05:48 - France

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 744

You deserved it 2 945

By ren - 13/01/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 336

You deserved it 1 943

By callie - 18/06/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 853

You deserved it 6 618

Night terrors

By scared shitless - 24/06/2020 08:02

Today, I learned the hard way that my girlfriend’s young daughter sleepwalks. I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, only to be greeted in the dimly lit hallway by her creepy silhouette. I yelped like a bitch and dropped the glass on my foot, breaking two toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 296

By Preggobride - 14/08/2018 23:35

Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant and dealing with severe morning sickness. Not to worry though, it should get better at 14 weeks, right after I get back from my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 633

By mvp - 26/07/2009 23:51 - United States

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 841

You deserved it 3 465

By horn-y - 23/11/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 428

You deserved it 60 009

By bob - 01/09/2011 05:29 - United States

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 350

You deserved it 2 704

By SeaBind - 16/11/2014 00:41 - United States - Saginaw

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 762

You deserved it 3 242

By Now What - 08/09/2016 17:04 - United States - South Otselic

Today, my boyfriend told me he only loves me sometimes. He explained what days he chooses to love me and what days he doesn't want to. I told him that's not how it works. He disagreed. He's 27. He still doesn't understand why this is a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 761

You deserved it 1 289

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 858

You deserved it 8 238

By phishy - 05/03/2015 22:26 - United States - Georgetown

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 156

You deserved it 2 474

By hairless by death - 13/08/2013 16:07 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 196

You deserved it 4 221

Bored

By POP-o-popo - 04/02/2021 17:01

Today, school finally opened up using a hybrid schedule. Unfortunately, two of my teachers were quarantined and half of the school was on Zoom. I spent two hours in the library doing nothing with a mask on. Everyone else was on Zoom in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 100

By straightasaneedle - 02/02/2011 17:11 - Germany

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 505

You deserved it 4 848

By OwMyBalls - 12/02/2012 06:17

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 958

You deserved it 6 459

By zaktor - 08/04/2018 15:00

Today, at my fundraising job, I got my biggest donation ever: $500. I accidentally added a zero and charged the donor $5000. What I got: an angry phone call and a lecture from my boss. What I didn't get: a donation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 3 542

By PaneraSucks - 19/02/2014 06:24 - United States - Londonderry

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 126

You deserved it 4 274

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:22 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 206

You deserved it 2 560

Leaving makes sense

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 21:30

Today, I finally left my bitch girlfriend with her son, who has difficulties and violence issues. Now everyone is telling me I should go back, because the kid needs a father, never mind that I’m depressed and in therapy for suicidal urges. Guess my mental health doesn’t matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 120

Bye bye Bambi

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 19:59

Today, I hit two deer at the same time on my way to work around 50 mph. They jumped out of the bushes last minute, leaving me zero time to react. I waited a full year to get this truck, shopped around to get what I wanted, and it's my "dream truck". I've only had it for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 102

By Anonymous - 08/02/2016 19:47 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I finally found out why my graphics card in my PC had been overheating recently. My brother disconnected the card's fan because it was too loud when he was gaming. I guess I can always spend another $750. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 107

You deserved it 1 841

By GuitarChick42 - 04/04/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320 540

You deserved it 22 878

By water fail - 28/01/2016 11:42 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 353

You deserved it 2 297

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 10:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 321

You deserved it 5 351

By GlassPwn - 19/12/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 642

You deserved it 15 504

By SorryIDontMatchStandardSizes - 02/09/2016 04:06 - United States

Today, I received my uniform for culinary school. I'm 5'4" and 110 lbs, and during sizing even an XS uniform swam on me. On the other hand, I need huge shoes for my size 10 feet. Apparently, the school decided to ignore my sizing sheet and simply give me standard medium uniforms and size 8 shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 604

You deserved it 1 111

By Fred - 06/01/2009 08:28 - France

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 003

You deserved it 5 461

By Moe - 25/09/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had lost my phone. I drove to the campus to try and find it, and parked in a gated lot where you pay when you leave. All the buildings were closed, so I had to go home. That's when I realized that I didn't have my wallet to get my car out. And no phone to call a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 070

You deserved it 7 628

STOP. IT. NOW.

By Anonymous - 01/09/2021 22:01

Today, it's been four days since I told my husband how much I dislike the term "baby mama". It's also been four days since he started calling me "my baby mama". We don't even have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 129

By robbed - 14/10/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 761

You deserved it 4 377

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 558

You deserved it 19 473

By gvmfvr - 08/05/2014 20:48 - France - Fontenay-sous-bois

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 100

You deserved it 3 950

By notmuchfun - 20/07/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 362

You deserved it 4 664

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 01:30

Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 045

You deserved it 340

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 04:02 - United States - Escalon

Today, my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat for not laughing hard enough at his stupid joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 540

You deserved it 4 947

Look at this

By CompleteWithPictures - 14/07/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was having dinner with some friends at an Applebee's. I couldn't decide on what I wanted, and after about 10 minutes of me flipping through the menu, our waiter brings over the braille menu complete with gigantic pictures of all the dishes and says, "Here, I thought this might help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 133

You deserved it 46 562

By Anonymous - 10/01/2013 12:20 - Slovakia

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 028

You deserved it 9 583

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Top comments

forest1wolf 9

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:12

thats one pimp grandpa

daysgoby902 6

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:14

I think your grandpa sounds Awesome, he's old let him live and maybe you should learn to laugh a little

chiewgor 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:11

whoa!! :o crazy person xD

Keyman1212 14

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:16

He probably just had a WWII flashback and was actually in his mind waving his leg around at Hitler doing a ballroom jig.

volley4eva1698 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:25

he sounds like my kinda grandpa

GuitarFail123 9

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:28

haha i wanna party with tht guy!xD

takanuva0123 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:28

Why did you take your senile grandpa to a baseball game not expecting this?

Zeek63 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:38

it could have been worse like that guy that died because he fell out of the stands and in-between the scoreboard 20 ft trying to catch a ball...

Keyman1212 14

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:42

That happened last night. Saw it on the local news. And I'm going to that same stadium tomorrow haha

supermankisses 1

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:50

If you're happy and you know it, wave your... leg?

RetardedBullFrog 4

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Friday 8 July 2011 17:03

I'd rather have a crazy supportive granpa than a negative nancy granpa.

ArentICute 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 17:07

Now that's what I call team spirit.

ILOLatmockdaweek 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 17:20

29- who said anything about ops granda being senile. not old people are mental you know

theaws0m3guy 4

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Friday 8 July 2011 17:26

Now that's what I call a fake! Zing!

troIIolol 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 17:37

and thiz is a fml why??

nahgemoohc 17

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Friday 8 July 2011 18:13

he's so cute!!! but maybe not for OP at that point in time:P

chrispyy21 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 18:37

ol granpa shud fist sum gurls wit da legg KEKEKEKEKEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sneeze_watch 19

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Friday 8 July 2011 19:33

I don't see how this is an FML. He sounds pretty awesome.

Imapean19 4

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Friday 8 July 2011 21:56

At least it wasn't his teeth

Tommananaze6T9 4

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Saturday 9 July 2011 0:01

i luv crazy old farts like that

Bright_Lights 14

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Saturday 9 July 2011 1:03

You love crazy old farts? Ew.

luvtheknot 6

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Saturday 9 July 2011 1:09

Tthank you for uploading this I haven't laughed that hard in ages, best FML ever.

marchelle001 0

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Saturday 9 July 2011 1:40

Grandpa= WINNING !!!

tjv3 10

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Saturday 9 July 2011 1:45

your grandpa rocks. my coworker goes tubing on the river sometimes and takes her leg off and uses it to hold her beer and drinks out of it.

justynicole 0

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Saturday 9 July 2011 7:46

can I adopt your grandpa? he sounds like the life of a party!

Molord1 0

Friday 8 July 2011 16:11

suck his leg

smurfsarwales 9

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:33

agreed. maybe op needs some practice and it will calm the grandpa down.

takanuva0123 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:34

You are a royal dumbass, and a good one at that :D

xlord 27

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:46

I think there is a direct correlation between wanting a top comment and the stupidity of the comment

CsDy1395 6

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Saturday 9 July 2011 7:56

Graph it and find out

NOLA_Darling504 0

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Saturday 9 July 2011 9:47

Your Grandpa sounds awesome. I don't get what your problem is with this. OP.

Molord1 0

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Saturday 9 July 2011 19:01

lmfao xlord you got it X'D

almighty_zer 5

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 13:06

what the fuck molord stop posting dumb shit. killed it with your dumb ass comment

forest1wolf 9

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:12

thats one pimp grandpa

socksonparade9 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:20

i agree! granpa ftw! (:

OWNZ 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 17:58

I WANNA PARTY WITH HIM!! :D

nahgemoohc 17

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Friday 8 July 2011 18:19

he might actually start a trend! goodbye, foam fingers!!!!

daisyloo 7

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Friday 8 July 2011 18:33

Hello prosthetic limbs!!:)

shadows17 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 22:10

agreed!

hryffff 11

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Thursday 31 January 2013 3:06

Aww I personally think that's cute

footballstar13 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:13

That must suck! /:

xlord 27

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:44

haven't you heard? it's the latest craze nowadays. all the cool granddads are doing it!

tasidevil99 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:14

haha soo funny wat do u want for christ mas sunny

beerisnot4kids 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:40

Christmas is one word, sonny

Emmi3xo 4

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Saturday 9 July 2011 0:38

what?

tasidevil99 0

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Monday 11 July 2011 15:38

i no but im just bored

daysgoby902 6

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:14

I think your grandpa sounds Awesome, he's old let him live and maybe you should learn to laugh a little

Babalu722 3

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:45

amen!

sandydg350762 0

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Friday 8 July 2011 16:58

I couldn't agree more with daysgoby902. Poster...lighten up! Who cares what people think. Your Grandpa was enjoying himself! Be glad he's still alive and healthy enough to do that.