Miscellaneous: Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and...

By Username - United States

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

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Miscellaneous

Taking stock

Not my sunnies!

Extreme cooking

By How

Mystery person

Today, I received a letter from my apartment complex saying I have an unauthorized tenant living with me. I must provide proof they don't live with me in the next 72 hours or I get kicked out. Nobody lives with me, and I don't know how to prove it. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I contacted a girl who dropped her ID at a club last night. I offer to drive 2 hours to return her ID to her. She is thrilled. When I arrive, she gives me a strange look, takes the ID, and runs back into her house. A two hour drive without even a thank you. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Auburn

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

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By Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML

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By nic - United States

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

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By nattnatt73 - United States - Marion

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Evesham

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/10/2020 07:58 - United States - Greensburg

Stuck on amber

Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML

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By sarahmoon

Today, my date refused to pay for my dinner, even though he promised to beforehand. It turns out, he assumed I would just be ordering a salad for dinner, "based on your slim figure". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Middletown

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/7/2020 17:00

Money hole

Today, my uncle kept his promise and left me his holiday house in his will. What he didn’t tell me was it’s been unmaintained for 14 years and is unfit for human habitation, has 2 mortgages, and now it and all its issues are now mine. Old, dead bastard. FML

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By bonesniffer - United States

Today, I crawled into bed naked, wanting to get some and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass and said 'oh' then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

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By lovingthis - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

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By brokeandalone - United States

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

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By me - Bulgaria

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Middleboro

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML

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By Hana - Canada - York

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML

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By Joey - United States

Today, my company hired a new guy to help on our project. My boss said that he would shadow me for the whole day so he could learn our system. At the end of the day my boss fired me, handed my company car keys and laptop to my "shadow for the day" right in front of me. My Mom picked me up. FML

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By Randolph - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Metamora

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

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By furious at five in the morning - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML

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By noodlesandmilk - Australia - Canberra

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

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By Phoebe - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

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37752

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By Name - United States

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

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By angryinlaws - Canada - Toronto

Today, after almost 2 days, I finally fell asleep, during my husband's vows, on our wedding day, in front of 250 guests. FML

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By goddamnit - United States

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bromsgrove

Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML

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By thanks ma - 29/5/2020 02:00

Today, on Judge Judy…

Today, all of my credit cards were frozen due to fraud. The culprit? My own mother. She rationalized it by saying I "owed" her for raising me. She didn’t even raise me. My grandma did. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML

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By Alone - United States

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Champlin

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

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By muzikmaler91 - United States

Pizzzaaaaaaa

Today, I called Pizza Hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

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By dieold - United States

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriends house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

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By kubbyp - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

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By minder97 - Canada

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

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Top comments

By forest1wolf | 9

#2847849 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:12

thats one pimp grandpa

By daysgoby902 | 6

#2847864 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:14

I think your grandpa sounds Awesome, he's old let him live and maybe you should learn to laugh a little

COMMENTS

By chiewgor | 0

#2847831 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:11

whoa!! :o
crazy person xD

Keyman1212 | 14

#2847885 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:16

He probably just had a WWII flashback and was actually in his mind waving his leg around at Hitler doing a ballroom jig.

volley4eva1698 | 0

#2847989 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:25

he sounds like my kinda grandpa

GuitarFail123 | 9

#2848034 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:28

haha i wanna party with tht guy!xD

takanuva0123 | 0

#2848043 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:28

Why did you take your senile grandpa to a baseball game not expecting this?

Zeek63 | 0

#2848138 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:38

it could have been worse like that guy that died because he fell out of the stands and in-between the scoreboard 20 ft trying to catch a ball...

Keyman1212 | 14

#2848195 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:42

That happened last night. Saw it on the local news. And I'm going to that same stadium tomorrow haha

supermankisses | 1

#2848267 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:50

If you're happy and you know it, wave your... leg?

RetardedBullFrog | 4

#2848367 - Friday 8 July 2011 17:03

I'd rather have a crazy supportive granpa than a negative nancy granpa.

ArentICute | 0

#2848437 - Friday 8 July 2011 17:07

Now that's what I call team spirit.

ILOLatmockdaweek | 0

#2848529 - Friday 8 July 2011 17:20

29- who said anything about ops granda being senile. not old people are mental you know

theaws0m3guy | 4

#2848561 - Friday 8 July 2011 17:26

Now that's what I call a fake! Zing!

troIIolol | 0

#2848679 - Friday 8 July 2011 17:37

and thiz is a fml why??

nahgemoohc | 17

#2848879 - Friday 8 July 2011 18:13

he's so cute!!! but maybe not for OP at that point in time:P

chrispyy21 | 0

#2849019 - Friday 8 July 2011 18:37

ol granpa shud fist sum gurls wit da legg KEKEKEKEKEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sneeze_watch | 19

#2849485 - Friday 8 July 2011 19:33

I don't see how this is an FML. He sounds pretty awesome.

Imapean19 | 4

#2849971 - Friday 8 July 2011 21:56

At least it wasn't his teeth

Tommananaze6T9 | 4

#2850771 - Saturday 9 July 2011 0:01

i luv crazy old farts like that

Bright_Lights | 14

#2851347 - Saturday 9 July 2011 1:03

You love crazy old farts? Ew.

luvtheknot | 6

#2851405 - Saturday 9 July 2011 1:09

Tthank you for uploading this I haven't laughed that hard in ages, best FML ever.

marchelle001 | 0

#2851601 - Saturday 9 July 2011 1:40

Grandpa= WINNING !!!

tjv3 | 10

#2851625 - Saturday 9 July 2011 1:45

your grandpa rocks. my coworker goes tubing on the river sometimes and takes her leg off and uses it to hold her beer and drinks out of it.

justynicole | 0

#2854412 - Saturday 9 July 2011 7:46

can I adopt your grandpa? he sounds like the life of a party!

By Molord1 | 0

#2847835 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:11

suck his leg

smurfsarwales | 9

#2848097 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:33

agreed. maybe op needs some practice and it will calm the grandpa down.

takanuva0123 | 0

#2848105 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:34

You are a royal dumbass, and a good one at that :D

xlord | 27

#2848229 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:46

I think there is a direct correlation between wanting a top comment and the stupidity of the comment

CsDy1395 | 6

#2854473 - Saturday 9 July 2011 7:56

Graph it and find out

NOLA_Darling504 | 0

#2854897 - Saturday 9 July 2011 9:47

Your Grandpa sounds awesome. I don't get what your problem is with this. OP.

Molord1 | 0

#2856633 - Saturday 9 July 2011 19:01

lmfao xlord you got it X'D

almighty_zer | 5

#2979741 - Tuesday 26 July 2011 13:06

what the fuck molord

stop posting dumb shit. killed it with your dumb ass comment

By forest1wolf | 9

#2847849 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:12

thats one pimp grandpa

socksonparade9 | 0

#2847915 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:20

i agree! granpa ftw! (:

OWNZ | 0

#2848794 - Friday 8 July 2011 17:58

I WANNA PARTY WITH HIM!! :D

nahgemoohc | 17

#2848913 - Friday 8 July 2011 18:19

he might actually start a trend! goodbye, foam fingers!!!!

daisyloo | 7

#2848998 - Friday 8 July 2011 18:33

Hello prosthetic limbs!!:)

shadows17 | 0

#2850022 - Friday 8 July 2011 22:10

agreed!

hryffff | 11

#5348022 - Thursday 31 January 2013 3:06

Aww I personally think that's cute

By footballstar13 | 0

#2847854 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:13

That must suck! /:

xlord | 27

#2848211 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:44

haven't you heard? it's the latest craze nowadays. all the cool granddads are doing it!

By tasidevil99 | 0

#2847862 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:14

haha soo funny wat do u want for christ mas sunny

beerisnot4kids | 0

#2848173 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:40

Christmas is one word, sonny

Emmi3xo | 4

#2851055 - Saturday 9 July 2011 0:38

what?

tasidevil99 | 0

#2867019 - Monday 11 July 2011 15:38

i no but im just bored

By daysgoby902 | 6

#2847864 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:14

I think your grandpa sounds Awesome, he's old let him live and maybe you should learn to laugh a little

Babalu722 | 3

#2848220 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:45

amen!

sandydg350762 | 0

#2848332 - Friday 8 July 2011 16:58

I couldn't agree more with daysgoby902. Poster...lighten up! Who cares what people think. Your Grandpa was enjoying himself! Be glad he's still alive and healthy enough to do that.