Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, I got a haircut. During dinner, my grandmother complained about it, and said I looked terrible. I've had the exact same haircut for years. FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML
Today, as a college student on a budget, I treated myself to a haircut. The stylist asked if I liked it, even though it was much shorter than I wanted, and I said yes. When I got home, my roommate asked if I had joined the military. My mom asked if I was OK. I'm wearing hats for the foreseeable future. FML
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Top comments
clrichmond2009 24
Drop and give me 20, maggot!
LostInTheZone11 29
Now you have a new respect for your grandpa and those who serve(d) in the military.
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Comments (75)
sammyjo06 14
Oh come on, you guys. He was a good sport to go along with it. Yes, he could've refused, but that would've just made things awkward. OP sounds like a good guy, so stop saying stupid things about how he didn't have to do it.
megadki14 6
and you complied why?
MrZsDad 19
Why do you think grandpa brought Gomer Pile along?
anklespank 3
on a list of things that never happenex, this really never happened.
rawlings123 17
Forced you? He can't make you do anything. If he's your grandfathers drill sergeant than he's even older than your grandfather.
rfn2 7
You listened?
Simple_SAM 2
He was old and thought it was still the molarity...Come on it was not his fault.It was a bunch of old people smiling.To keep them smiling I honestly would have just done them.
at0micmin3r 23
Aiya... Just because they're veterans doesn't give 'em the right to treat you that way. They served, well and good. But if they abuse their "status" then they are being bullies and no longer deserve that (SOCIAL!!!) status... You MUST stand up for yourself.
Pyrithium 8
You have the same name as my profile picture.
Annihilator257 15
Keywords: veterans reunion