Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, I got a haircut. During dinner, my grandmother complained about it, and said I looked terrible. I've had the exact same haircut for years. FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML
Today, as a college student on a budget, I treated myself to a haircut. The stylist asked if I liked it, even though it was much shorter than I wanted, and I said yes. When I got home, my roommate asked if I had joined the military. My mom asked if I was OK. I'm wearing hats for the foreseeable future. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
clrichmond2009 24
Drop and give me 20, maggot!
LostInTheZone11 29
Now you have a new respect for your grandpa and those who serve(d) in the military.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
tygerarmy 35
It was only a couple push ups, it's not so bad. After you did them you should've immediately said you weren't a Vet. And if you were no longer then the standards wouldn't apply, they were probably all in on it.
lexi365 20
Atleast OP is now fit?
heymarissa97 2
Maybe your haircut is just really awful.
Gunguy 11
Private Snowball!
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
"DO YOU LIKE THAT NAME!? WELL HERE'S SOMETHING YOU WON'T LIKE! THEY DON'T SERVE FRIED CHICKEN AND WATERMELON ALL DAY EVERY DAY IN MY MESS HALL!"
Caelrona 8
I highly doubt your grandfather's old drill sergeant FORCED you to do anything. Just because you were too spineless to stand up for yourself and tell the old coot to shove it doesn't mean he forced you to do anything. You are fully capable of responding with a stiff 'No, Sir. Even if I were in the army, which I am not, you do not have authority over me. I shall not be doing anything for you, let alone pushups because you dislike my hair. Kindly **** off.'
ThomasBombadil 31
What did you expect from a bunch of old crusty veterans? Hugs? Besides, my guess is he didn't do it to harass you but show your pops he still had it. OOORAH!
SuperMew 22
I am not sure why you did the push ups. Of course people were smirking, you are a spineless person who listened to a guy force him to do pushups.
SnowFangedBeauty 19
Was he really loud or did you misplace your spine...?
Guardian88 21
YDI for allowing someone to control what you do......he aint your dad an sure as hell aint your DS soooo **** what he says
pratikp03 22
Screw you guys I am going hoome (cart man voice)
StonerSoldier 14
"Front-leaning Rest Position, Move!"